Health

Health, wellness and mindset! We’re talking all things about our physical wellbeing and mental wellbeing! You’ll find articles from our LBI crew and contributors, that cover all a variety of topics all about your physical and mental health!

June 10 2022

Sex and Sexual Awakening

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Article written by Pauline Ryeland

Sex is an energy and it’s our life force. Sexual Awakening is about wakening up our sexual energy and get it moving though our body. This is different to friction based sex, which we’re already experiencing.

What does Sex and Sexual Awakening actually mean?

Just for a moment, take some time to think about how you have sex.

How do you experience it?
What goes on in your body?
What feelings and emotions do you feel?
What thoughts are occurring for you whilst you’re in the middle of it?
Where is your focus?

That’s quite a bit to think about isn’t it?

Imagine what it would be like to awaken yourself, to be able to experience sex at a level that is beyond your comprehension. Opening yourself to fully engage with your sexuality so that you can reach the sexual potential that is your birth right as a human being.

Would you be willing to do that?

Most people when they are having sex are not connected, grounded or present with themselves let alone their partner. This is a recipe for massive disconnection which then restricts how you and your body engages and responds during a sexual experience.

Connection is key

The reason we check out during sex is varied and is not something we are often conscious of. It can be as simple as a habit; you’re experiencing an orgasm, so you shut your eyes & go off somewhere into the cosmos. There is nothing wrong with doing this, however when your eyes are closed you disconnect from self and your partner.

So just open your eyes occasionally, look at your partner, breath and moan together, connect. It can also come from lack of self-worth and self-esteem. Maybe there is unresolved sexual trauma and you check out because you don’t feel safe in your body, even though you feel safe with your partner. Alcohol and drugs, whether prescription or ones you perhaps party with, will also have you disconnect.

Also on a sub-conscious level we put limits on our sexual pleasure, crazy I know!

A woman may think, “oh finally I had my orgasm,” so they just stop. A man believes he’s done because he’s ejaculated and stops. What would happen if they stayed in the space of receiving, in the space of pleasure?

We are in our heads so much and sometimes we’re not even in our busy heads, we are off in space somewhere. We wonder what we look like and can become self-consciousness about that.

I mean seriously, orgasm face, contorting with pleasure can look like quite out there, yet you need to let go of that and be in the joy and pleasure of it all. Maybe a woman doesn’t like going on top because as she bounces around having a good time, so is the rest of her body which makes her feel self-conscious, so she’ll disconnect from herself.

The reality of it is the person underneath you doesn’t care, they are loving it. Guys on a sub-conscious level are wondering if they are good enough, man enough, if their penis is big enough, can they get the woman to orgasm…it’s like a mission and we end up with a whole lot of “to do lists” of got to do this, before we can do that and so it’s like this eternal search for more.

So, while all this is going on we disengage, disconnect

We also disconnect from our sexual experience if we watch too much porn. When we engage with porn on a consistent basis we are externalizing, which disconnects us from ourselves. There are ways to utilize porn in your sexual play where you can stay connected to yourself.

We not only disconnect from our bodies, we also create a massive disconnection from our hearts and genitals, it’s almost like they come from 2 different locations

So how does this disconnection affect us?

What it does is keeps us in our heads, which doesn’t allow the natural sexual energy to flow.

Sex has become a goal orientated and action driven experience and everyone wants a bigger, better, more potent sexual experience than the last time. So this is where us Women in Leadership, need to loosen the reigns, connect into our feminine flow and surrender to what is.

If we looked at a graph for sex, at one end would be Joy and Bliss and at the other end there would be excitement. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, however there is a lot of pleasure being missed out on in between because we are all busy in our heads, consciously or sub-consciously going through our check lists.

As a society we are always chasing more and in sex it’s no different. Sex is an energy and when we learn how to manipulate the energy, we can take our erotic pleasure beyond anything we can even imagine!

Another key – Breath!

Not just every day breathing, using specific breath to activate the auto-nommic nervous system. Fast breathing activates the sympathetic part of the system and long slow deep breaths activates the para-sympathetic part of the nervous system.

When we add this in, it helps awaken the sexual energy and gets it moving through out bodies. Plus a lot of people hold their breath when they orgasm. If you breathe fully and deeply through the orgasm instead of holding your breath, then the sexual energy has room to continue moving and playing, which will light up your body even more.

Finally – The Pelvic Floor

As Women in Business and Women in Leadership, I am sure you all know about the pelvic floor muscles and how important they are in general. However, when you add that to the mix when doing the breathwork, it opens up a whole other world which really starts moving the sexual energy through the body more.

When you can experience that, you can become more awake in your body and tap into being an even more totally empowered multi-orgasmic woman.

And we all want more of that, right? RIGHT!!

Find Pauline here:

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Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer ® works as an Intimacy, Sex, Libido & Relationship Coach & Educator. Pauline works with individuals or couples around any challenges they maybe experiencing around intimacy, sex, libido, relationships and everything in between. Her unique point of difference is that she combines, mind, body and soul drawing on knowledge and expertise from Tantra, Sexological Body Work, NLP and Access Consciousness.

April 20 2022

Self Compassion: 3 Ways to Be More Kind to Yourself

SayHiLBI@gmail.com Boss Blog, Health Inspire, Mindset, Self Care, Women in Business 0

Article written by Lindsay Richter

My sister and I are business partners at Small L.E.A.P.S. Health & Fitness Coaching and being women in business pose its own set of challenges, let alone, building an online business during a pandemic. One of the biggest obstacles we have had to face is our own negative self-talk. So often we are our own worst enemies because our brains focus on the negatives. With so many added obstacles as women in business, it is important to give ourselves compassion.

During primal times, it was important to our survival to have a healthy dose of anxiety and a focus on the negative ‘what ifs’ as a way to protect us from real and perceived threats. So, it makes sense that now our minds and inner dialogue often instinctually move more to the negative side as our brain is still trying to protect us. However, now-a-days we do not always have to focus on the threats or negative thoughts-we are not being chased by bears or lions daily! Many people experience this kind of automatic negative thoughts on a daily basis. When these thoughts begin to interfere with our happiness, business and day to day life it may be helpful to change those thoughts. The great news is that you have the ability to shift your negative thoughts and incorporate more kindness into your life.

At Small L.E.A.P.S. we have a few strategies we use on a regular basis to build our self compassion and to move away from the negative thoughts that hurt us.

Curiosity vs Judgement

Judgements are often assumptions and not truths, yet they can hold a strong power over us. When you constantly live in a space of judgement you might tell yourself you are “not good enough”, “are worthless” or other harsh self-condemning and self-deprecating statements. When we use harsh judgements towards ourselves it can lead to consistent negativity, low self-esteem and self-worth. It can also lead to anxiety, irritability, anger, feelings of shame, guilt, frustration, all-or-nothing thinking, and feelings of discontent. Overall, it can negatively impact motivation and lower self-love.

Reframing your thoughts is a powerful tool to become more kind to yourself. Coming from a stance of curiosity versus judgement can help you move forward in an empowered way.

Shifting to a curious mindset can help move you to becoming more patient, and understanding. You will develop more empathy, a deeper sense of inner peace/freedom, and self-acceptance. Developing self-compassion and compassion towards others, it can lead to more happiness in your life, and can lessen the negative impacts of your inner critic.

Curiosity does not make assumptions, it doesn’t label things as good or bad, and it listens. When you step into curiosity you are able to observe & reflect. This reflection is to help you learn, identify patterns and move forward; it allows more mindfulness into your life.

To be more curious ask yourself:

What led to this?
Is it a pattern?
What can I learn from this?
Where do I go from here? What is in my control to change, what is outside of my control?
Ask why or why not?

Shifting Negative Thoughts

Thoughts only have the power that you give them. Know that it is possible to move towards a more empowering mindset.

When shifting negative thoughts to be more compassionate and kinder, remember to Stop, Observe, Investigate & Swap!

Stop– Take a moment to reflect.

Observe– What is the situation you are in? How do you feel?

Investigate– Is the negative thought true? Is it something you truly believe to be 100% true? If not, what makes this untrue?

Swap– Write out a compassionate statement that is empowering. If you struggle with compassionate statements towards yourself, take a moment and pretend your best friend or loved one is in this exact situation. What would you say to them that is compassionate?

Create a Self-Care List

Self-care can be defined as: ‘a deliberate and mindful act of acknowledging the need for purposeful self-directed health’. People often find self-care activities to be self-healing, relaxing, mindful and enjoyable. Performing self-care activities is beneficial for not only your physical but also your mental health. When there is a lack of self-care there is a higher risk of increased stress levels and challenges with effective coping. By creating and using a self-care list it can help you identify what your needs are and how to nurture them.

Creating your own self-care list will give you a variety of ways to nourish your mind, body and soul. Remember these self-care actions don’t have to be extravagant, costly, or take up loads of your time and can be flexible.

Self-care examples you could put on your own list are:

Diaphragmatic deep breathing
Learn to say “no”
5 minutes for personal reflection/writing
Meditation
Physical movement
Allowing yourself rest

As women in business, we face so many challenges! We need to provide compassion & empower ourselves. When you have a hard day or find it difficult balancing home life with work, it is important to remember you are human, you make mistakes, you deserve compassion. It is so easy to fall into the trap of negative thinking but by approaching these thoughts with curiosity instead of judgement, actively working to shift your negative thoughts, and creating a self-care list you will be taking the first steps to developing a more self-compassionate mind set. You can do this!

Find Lindsay Here:

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If you would like to learn more about developing a compassionate mind set or banishing negative self-talk, then join our free private Facebook group: Small L.E.A.P.S. Towards Lasting Lifestyle Change! We look forward to seeing you there!

Lindsay is a certified health/life coach with Small L.E.A.P.S. Health & Fitness Coaching and has worked in the health & wellness industry for over a decade. She is a mom of two and is passionate about supporting people on their journey to connect with mind, body & food to feel more confident, compassionate & live a life they love.

March 23 2022

Why It Is Important to Drink Water to Assist in Healthy Eating

SayHiLBI@gmail.com Boss Blog, Health Healthy Living 0

Article written by Yaa Astar

Water makes up over 70% of the human body. So it is no surprise that water is one of the most important things that the body can receive, especially when you are attempting to embark upon a healthy eating journey. Water can help you to stay on track and focus on eating healthy and nourishing foods rather than falling back on the same processed junk that got us into an unhealthy mess in the first place.

So what exactly is it important to drink water?

First of all, it helps to flush toxins out of the body. When we aren’t drinking enough water, it can be almost impossible for our bodies to get rid of the bad things that are accumulating inside us. It can cause infections and other complications. Fortunately, water helps to eradicate the things that contaminate our bodies so that we can begin to get healthy right away.

Another great reason to drink water is because if you want to be healthy, you have to be active as well. When you drink enough water, then you begin to realize that your body has far more energy than it used to have. Instead of being tired and fatigued all the time, you will have an abundant amount of focus and the ability to concentrate. This can be very important, especially if you are an entrepreneur or you have an mentally or physically demanding job to do.

Even if you do not, walking around during your life with little energy is very dangerous and should be avoided. Make sure that you have water in your body so that it can help to nourish your brain and your body all at the same time.

Water also helps to support the immune system. If you are prone to illness, then making sure that you drink enough water is one of the most surefire ways to guarantee that you are doing everything you can to support your immune system. Water is something that helps to boost this important aspect of our bodies so that we can help to brace ourselves against colds and flu’s, and heart disease. Water can even help you to eliminate the free radicals and toxins that can contribute to cancer. Getting rid of carcinogenic waste in our stomach is very important, and water helps us do just that.

If you are interested in the physical effects of drinking water, there are several benefits there as well. It can help to clear your skin, as your body is eliminating waste and other ways rather than through your pores. It can provide your body with a healthy glow and a soft texture. Water is one of the most antiaging properties there is.

Not only that, but it is highly beneficial for your health and well-being. If you want to embark upon a journey of healthy eating, make sure you take water with your meals so that you can fully reap the benefits for yourself!

Find Yaa here:

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Want to talk more about how you can consume more water, reach out today to schedule your consultation at www.yaaastar.com!

February 18 2022

5 Ways to Start Loving Your Body

SayHiLBI@gmail.com Boss Blog, Health, Pass Her The Mic Health, Inspiration, Pass Her the Mic 0

Article written by Tiffany Nickel

Have you ever struggled with how to love your body when you just hate her (If the word hate bothers you, or doesn’t feel right, how about dislike)?

Maybe it’s an everyday battle with food, your appearance, the voices in and out of your head and how you feel during sexy times. Or perhaps you have the occasional bad day where you don’t like what you see in the mirror reflecting back at you.

Either way, being at war with your body is not healthy and it’s exhausting as fuck. We live in a society obsessed with the shape and weight of our bodies. In a society where companies and our whole culture tell us what to hate about ourselves, and then picks on them until we become insecure about them. Please tell me I am not the only one who sees how fucked up this is.

Learning to fully love and accept your body isn’t linear and it takes time. Unfortunately there are no quick fixes. Trust me, I know, there simply aren’t any short cuts. But there are some small, powerful steps you can take each day to begin loving (does “loving” feel too strong, how about liking) your body instead of hating her and feeling hopeless about this damaged relationship.

Here’s the beginning steps to start loving your body:

1. Acknowledgement.

That’s right. You gotta get super real and admit that the relationship you have with your body SUCKS or at the very least isn’t what you want it to be (yet).

It’s okay that you’re struggling to love your body right now. Plenty of us are.

You know why?

Because we live in a society that constantly teaches us to hate our bodies. And if you manage to grow up unscathed, you’re one of the few, not the many.

But what’s important is you’re aware of your current relationship with your body, and you’re acknowledging that you want to make some changes. Because this is the first step to change.

So be accepting of your negative relationship with your body. And acknowledge that you want to create a friendship with your body. Tell yourself this, and mean it.

2. Asking the Right Questions.

Why do I want to look different than I do right now?

Have you ever really thought about this? It is a skipped over question, because it doesn’t even cross your mind. So there’s no better time than now to think about why you want to look different.

Why do you want your body to be a different shape or size?

More times than not, your reasons are deeply rooted in external love and acceptance. You believe that a more “attractive” body (whatever that means, because really we don’t know and it’s always changing) will get other people to like you, or respect you, value you, love you, have sex with you etc.

This is the biggest body lie out there. Changing the way you look does not equal happiness. Sure, it might be a factor in helping you feel good about yourself, but it’s definitely not the sole answer. As someone who has weighed well over 200 LBS and under 100LBS in my adult life I would know, I was never happier at any of these weights even if I “thought momentarily” my body looked better.

Don’t believe me? You only have to look at people who have had cosmetic surgery, or naturally thin models, who are still battling with addictions, eating disorders and hate for their bodies.

For you to really learn to love your body, you have to let go of the belief that your “dream body” (whatever that even really is) will fix all your problems. Because if you don’t address why you don’t feel good about yourself today, you’ll carry those feelings with you until you confront them, and process with them.

As cliche as it sounds, true love, true joy, and true pleasure come from within you, babe.

3. Stopping the Judgment

Do you spend your day walking around or scrolling on your phone and criticizing the way other people look? Or maybe wishing your body could look like “hers”?

When you do this, you reinforce the idea that your body equates to your worth and value as a human being. And news flash, your body size (big or small) has NOTHING to do with your worthiness or value. In case you didn’t get that I’m going to state it again in a different way.
The way you look holds absolutely NO value as a human in this world.

On top of that, you keep yourself trapped in a negative, low-vibration state. And this will affect your mood and mental health, which you’ll then bring with you into everything you do the rest of the day.

Deep down, I know that you know, you deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are right now RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! So release your judgment, because it’s not serving you or your body.

4. Less Focus on Weight

We are so obsessed with our weight, we try to determine our health and value based on the number of the scale. You cannot demonize your body, while simultaneously worshiping it above all else.

Ever find yourself in toxic habits that you are unaware of, or unable to break free from. As a society we are so detached from our bodies, that we don’t hear them speaking to us; telling us what they want and need. Even when we do, we don’t trust them.

But we can’t stop punishing ourselves until we stop believing we deserve to be punished. And to do that, you have to stop scrutinizing, what you eat, how you experience pleasure, what the scale says, and the number on the back of your jeans.

What would happen if you made a shift, and started focusing all that energy you use on food, and your weight and directing it toward compassion and radical body love?

This is the KEY to breaking the vicious cycle, and freeing yourself from your own obsession with weight. When you do that, you will naturally start making choices that make you feel amazing and set your soul on fire.

5. Masturbate

Yup. Masturbation is essential to feeling joy, pleasure and connecting to your wonderland of a body! Caressing and playing with your most intimate, sensitive parts, is a wonderful way to reconnect with your body, and associate it with pleasure.

You’ll get to know your body on a deeper level, understand that you are worthy of pleasure, and feel good. Plus, orgasms fill you with intoxicating chemicals that leave you on a type high. And you’ll have your body to thank for that.

I encourage you to make it like a ritual for yourself. Have a bath, light some candles, slip into something that makes you feel sexy, and just have fun exploring your body.

These 5 things are just the start. I highly recommend getting some support, (not only as a professional) but also as a woman who has tried to do this work by herself for years. It’s nearly impossible to see your blind spots. You have the power. You’ve always had the power. So take it back today you gloriously magnificent creature!