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Pass Her The Mic

We believe in and LOVE passing the metaphorical Mic to women from every walk of life. The LBI Boss Blog is one of the ways we do this and share the inspiration and stories from our community. Here you’ll find inspirational content, stories, interviews and more from our LBI Crew and our contributors.

Pass Her the Mic Feature: Gladys Simen

Pass Her the Mic Feature: Gladys Simen

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We love that through this Boss Blog, we have the opportunity to highlight and support amazing women. These women are “doing the damn thing” as our Fem Founder, Rose Kaz would say!

In this edition of Pass Her the Mic, we’re chatting with Gladys Simen, a life coach for moms!

Pass Her the Mic

 

Please, start by introducing yourself and the work you do :

I am a life enthusiast. I’ve lived in 5 different countries, mastered 2 languages (and one

un poquito!), and met more amazing people than I can count.

Because my own life has become a rich tapestry of interwoven experiences, I am passionate about helping people live big, beautiful, shooting-for-the-stars kind of lives too… right now. Becoming a fabulous mama made me an advocate for the working mom, and my coaching practice , MyLifeCouch is centered around helping working moms (re) discover their super powers and creating a more balanced life. On their own terms.

What brought you to the place you are working from now, essentially, what in your history inspired you to do what you do NOW?

Having my kids gave me a purpose bigger than I ever had prior to having them. It also made me acutely aware of the unique difficulties working moms may face in the corporate world, in terms of support and accommodation. It has been said before that we expect women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work, which in itself puts a lot of pressure on women.

I started lending my voice to the conversation as I didn’t want my daughter to have to face the same hurdles when her time will come and also, as the de facto role model for my kids, I wanted them to know that we should always try to make things better , even if we do not succeed. It’s about using our voice for a cause that matters – to us -.

How do you define INCLUSIVITY for yourself and your business?

Inclusivity for MyLifeCouch, my business is providing a platform where everyone is truly welcomed, valued and respected for all of who they are . And that they are heard and seen. 

Inclusivity for me is acknowledging my biases and creating a place where we can have uncomfortable conversations aiming to challenge or educate our existing thoughts. It’s seeing the strengths and abilities of everyone I meet and making sure I treat people with respect and fairness. 

 

 

This month we’re talking about inclusivity in action. What does that look like inside your business?

I am  working towards a Pay-it-Forward Fund where my coaching clients can choose to pay a little extra so it can go towards coaching less privileged people. And I have been known for coaching for free when people need a little pick me up. 

What do you want people to remember most about the work that you’re creating?

That self love and self care are two little seeds that can create BIG change within ourselves. 

What’s the next thing for you? What are you working on?

Currently  I am in the process of building community of working moms by sharing my mission,  by supporting working mothers through my coaching. 

Also I am partnering with corporate to spread the word to support working mothers at work.

Thank you so much Gladys! We love the mission you’re on to empower and include so many women that need your support!

 

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Find Gladys here:

Website | Linkedin | Instagram

Bio:

Gladys Simen is a life coach for moms who are trying to balance their work and family life.

She is passionate about helping women live big, beautiful, shooting-for-the-stars kind of lives…right now. Not in 10 years. Not when the kids are grown. Not after that promotion finally comes around. Right. Now.

Gladys considers herself an advocate for the working mama! She loves sharing her own stories about her journey to balance home and work life, and loves supporting fellow working mothers on their journeys.

Pass Her the Mic Feature: Cicily Newsom

Pass Her the Mic Feature: Cicily Newsom

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We recently had the opportunity to include Cicily on a LBI panel all about money and funding for women in business! Now we get to pass her the mic and learn more about the work she does in this feature interview!

We recently had the opportunity to include Cicily on a LBI panel all about money and funding for women in business! Now we get to pass her the mic and learn more about her work [ image of smiling woman ]

Hi! Cicily Newsom! I am a sales trainer and leadership development coach specifically in the Financial Services Sector. I help people start their own businesses in the Trillion Dollar industry of Life Insurance and Retirement Protection.

What brought you to the place you are working from now, essentially, what in your history inspired you to do what you do NOW? 

Growing up, no one ever taught me the value of entrepreneurship OR  financial literacy. While I have an amazing and loving family, they were blue collar people who worked their entire lives building someone else’s dream and subsequently struggled financially their entire lives only to retire on 40% of what it took them 100% to live on before they retired. I knew early on that this was a broken model. The American Dream has ELEVATED but cultural messaging is still lagging 😉

Even in college, understanding how to manage household finances, understanding how money works, understanding tax laws and financial tools these were not offerings made available to the biology students or the creatives; And certainly no one taught us about Entrepreneurship and the value of owning a business. It wasn’t until I read a pivotal book: “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki that I truly understood the Cash Flow Quadrant and the four ways people earn a living in the world: The Employed, The Self Employed, The Business Owner and the Investor. 

I became passionate about ensuring people knew how to think differently about money and wealth and freedom and business. 

It was a natural fit that I would go into financial services. Not only could I learn for myself but I could then pass along that knowledge to two different client sets; the clients who needed the insurance protection AND the agents who wanted an opportunity to build a business legacy inside of the industry.

This month our theme is “Elevate”. What does that mean to you and your business?

A few things come to mind…

*As I mentioned above- It’s past time that we begin to Elevate our cultural messaging about wealth generation and the new American Dream (aka the Global Dream). We have to elevate our views on money and our views on how and why we go to work each day.

* Also as a business owner I am constantly reminded of “Delegate to Elevate” which is a simple way of saying- we must begin to learn about our strength zones in business and delegate the tasks or opportunities that will free us up to do our best work in the world. 

How has elevating helped you grow and succeed?

We go from employed to self-employed because we want control but we become true business owners when we have leverage. We leverage the time and strengths of those around us to ELEVATE ourselves and our businesses to the next level. The results I saw in my life from this elevation are personal growth, better relational harmony with my spouse and community, a greater ability to volunteer and serve, improved health and a deeper feeling of significance and purpose. It’s amazing how much we can grow when the basic finances are covered and we get to work for ourselves. 

We leverage our businesses to ELEVATE our wealth template and thus ELEVATE the life experiences we get to have because of the financial freedoms we have created in that business. We have to let go of control in order to grow. Delegate to Elevate!

What do you want people to remember most about the work that you’re creating?

My formula for True wealth: Wealth = Time + Money [not just money]

In my humble opinion the only way to achieve true wealth is through business ownership. I want people to remember the importance of having both and to keep fighting for that balance of having both. I choose sales because I think it’s the greatest and most noble profession of all time but sales without a business is just self employment. I want to help free people from having to trade time for money. To teach that is to teach freedom, self development, financial stewardship, leadership, ownership and legacy creation. 

What’s the next thing for you? What are you working on?

Our agency is going through a rebranding phase in order to be better recognized as a house-hold name. I don’t think the Newsom Agency even knew what was possible when we first started.  I am excited to extend our brand to further reach those who are ready for business ownership and wealth as we define it; Specifically women business owners in financial services because I think women are natural owners, listeners, intuitives, communicators, consultants, problem solvers and ladybosses. 

Thank you so much Cicily! We absolutely loved the little nuggets of gold you shared with us in this interview and we can’t wait to see the big things you accomplish in the future!

Find Cicily here:

Website

Elevate Your Business by Elevating with your Client

Elevate Your Business by Elevating with your Client

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Article written by Martine Stefanovic

In order to elevate your business, you need to identify what makes your products and services unique. Ask yourself, “what transformation are you creating?” Find ways to monetize that value as you grow.

For many business owners, their client is a key asset that can be leveraged. When leveraging, start with adding value. Be creative with how you add value.. Think about innovative ways to engage with new clients. By fostering a supportive space, your business will continue to elevate.

Now, have you thought about strategically monetizing your business? You can create a valuable resource that sets your business apart from the competition. Here’s a great tip for you. Focus on building relationships with your client and creating an engaging experience. This will help you build trust, respect, and loyalty.

The ability to elevate your business is all about relationships

As you build relationships, attract the right clients by doing your research. Understand who your target audience is as an entrepreneur.

Let your clients see the power of your services in different ways. Ultimately, they can translate into more revenue so you can elevate your business. How will you go about elevating your business client today?

Business prospects can expand daily depending on how you network. When your business has a good culture, you can hire the best employees. As you continue to grow in business, think about building a solid foundation. Your foundation should have supporters, advocates, and clients that will grow with you. Create a safe space where others can take some time to connect.

Your client’s will help spread the word about your business. Take the opportunity to make money with different resources that are in high demand. Join an amazing community. Give your supporters access to little details about yourself. Think about an active membership that you can monetize when you build a firm foundation, hint, the LBI Backstage Pass!

It’s a process to elevate your business.

Trust the process as you plan accordingly.

As you continue to grow, think about how you can position yourself for success. This year is about transforming and elevating your business. It’s about who you know, not what you know. Join a community of expansion, collaboration, and love for like-minded professionals. Create a culture that is friendly yet supportive with tons of fun.

Be strategic when creating, and elevating.

It’s possible to create a sustainable business model that will benefit your client. Your client is like your business family. Treat them with love, respect, and care. Provide valuable service and products within your business. Collaborate with other organizations that allow you to elevate your purpose. It’s important to take the time to identify what type of client you have.

Consider what services or products would be the best fit for your ideal clients. Once you have a clear idea of what you want to offer, it’s time to start building out your client. When the right people trust in your vision and invest in you, it’s essential to elevate your purpose as you create!

Martine is our LBI Matchmaker for Bizz Besties on the Backstage Pass! Find and connect with her there.

Being a BOSS as a Woman in Business

Being a BOSS as a Woman in Business

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Article written by Sybriea Lundy

Being a “boss” isn’t a goal or a life choice, it’s your birthright.

Women are hardly the weaker sex as previously branded. You are the creators, the providers, the nurturers, the backbones, and the glue. You are the bosses. And you always have been. The divine feminine energy that you each possess is the seed of badassness. You are strong. You are adaptable. You are a survivor. You’re a boss wherever you are. No matter the circumstance.   

Unfortunately, strengths can become weakness. Loyalty has the power tie you to unhealthy business relationships, among other things. I came to this realization sitting on a prison bunk with a considerable span of years ahead of me. Questionable lifestyle choices and business decisions had turned a former High School Valedictorian into inmate #1008183. And I thought my entire life was over. 

Turned out, I was still a boss. I just couldn’t see it at the time. I learned some very important lessons in my time at “rock‐bottom” and I’d like to share those with you now: 

1) To pivot is priceless – you can change your direction whenever you choose.

2) It is never too late to elevate – you can step your game up and take it to the next level at any time.

3) You are ALWAYS networking – being a kind and professional individual is universal. It has the power to transcend all kinds of barriers, both physical and perceived. Your soft skills are one of your most valuable assets and nobody can take them from you. 

What I had thought was the end of my story just ended up being the start of the next chapter. I walked out of Swannanoa Women’s Prison with a job as a paralegal and a job writing web content. Both of these positions arose from networking I’d done in a most unlikely place. Because sometimes, being a boss is all about making the best in a bad situation.   

I came home ready to elevate; but life still wanted to teach me flexibility. My five‐year plan had me graduating college and securing a career. 

But what I’ve achieved in six years has been: 

  • 2 Children 
  • 2 Degrees 
  • 1 Certificate 
  • Homeowner 
  • Successful Career in Non‐Profit 
  • I actively advocate for incarcerated women   
  • And I even sit on a board for one of the yoga/wellness programs that helped me survive incarceration 

I’m not sure what life plans to throw at me next, but I’m here for it.

As women, we are even more powerful than we can comprehend. And it’s shocking how much we can survive and overcome. The biggest limits to our potential are the ones we place on ourselves. The self‐defeating narratives of by‐ gone eras no longer hold sway. Groups like LBI are here to level the playing field and change the game. Because when women come together, we become a force of nature. 

Find Sybriea here:

mountainbizworks.org

Self Care and Love as Women in Business

Self Care and Love as Women in Business

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Article Written by Kerri Lewis

As we move out of  February, “the month of love” and into March,  I’m struck by the amount of leaders and coaches out in the world today preaching the importance of self care and love but fail to implement the practice themselves.

As a newer business owner and a single mother I can truly appreciate how easily one can lose sight of taking care of themselves however, if you truly want to have an impact, it is imperative that you practice what you preach. It is one thing to know the importance of self care and self love, it’s entirely different when you put this knowledge into practice.

I’m struck by the amount of leaders and coaches out in the world today preaching the importance of self care and love but fail to implement the practice themselves.

Now, before I get into my observations of coaches and leaders failing to practice what they preach,  let’s break self love and self care down a bit.

First, what exactly is self love?

According to The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation, self love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self love means having a high regard for your own well being and happiness. Yes, this is what I’m talking about! For me, self love means putting my own needs first so that I can be the best expression of myself in the world.  Now that we have a good grasp on what self love means, let’s get into self care.

We hear a lot of talk these days about self care yet many are confused by what this actually means. There are endless strategies and tools out in the world today that people can lean into to practice self care including meditation, play, fitness, and breath work. What’s important to  remember is that whatever you choose to incorporate for daily self care is something you want to do, not something  you have to.

Oftentimes, I find that while many have a self care routine, the tools they use don’t serve them or have become just another thing to get done off their already super long list of to do’s. When it becomes work, it is not self care!

The Lack of Self Care and Discipline:

Now that we have established what self love and self care is, let’s get into what I have been witnessing out in the world of coaches and leaders. As a coach, for both leaders and other coaches, I get an inside look into how many people operate their businesses. The number one issue I run into, lack of self care and discipline. How could this be? Especially when the very people I work with are the people preaching the importance of self love and self care. 

The fact is the leaders and coaches I work with are passionate and driven people. All are invested in creating  brands and products  that come from the heart and help people live better, more fulfilling lives. The problem occurs when they become so consumed by building their business and helping clients that they stop putting their needs first.

It usually starts small like  skipping lunch to take a client call, missing a scheduled gym session or failing to sit and get quiet throughout the day. What starts as one missed self care practice spirals pretty quickly into long hours focused on work and less and less time spent on themselves. Not the ideal situation for producing quality work and achieving quantum results. 

Look, I get it. We’ve been conditioned to believe the dogma that says to be successful in business, you must sell your soul. Give up time with friends and family and work until you are bone tired in order to achieve success. The reality is  that this is the very conditioning and pressure we leaders and coaches must refrain from falling victim to if we want to make a massive impact and help change our clients and employees’ lives. And while I have no doubt my clients know this, the execution is easier said than done. 

So what to do to ensure your own needs don’t fall by the wayside while expanding your reach and holding space for people? Create non-negotiable disciplines around self care and work and hold yourself accountable. Surround yourself with visual reminders that remind you  of your vision, how you want to show up in the world and what actions you can take to implement immediate self care.

If you’re not working with a client, set timers for work and rest. When asked to take part in a project or new endeavor, ask yourself, is this really going to  help me reach my true north? If the answer isn’t an emphatic yes, say no and keep it moving. 

The truth is it’s easy to fall back into the narrative that in order to be successful you have to hustle and grind all the time. Building an empire requires work, but it doesn’t have to require sacrificing your own needs.

In fact when we operate from a place of vitality and joy we get exponentially more done in less time. By implementing structure around work and self care, not only do we ensure  that we don’t fall victim to burnout, we also show our clients and employees just how much we love ourselves and how important caring for ourselves is. 

Now the question is, what are you going to do to love yourself today? 

Find Kerri Here:

Facebook | Instagram

Pass Her the Mic Feature: Chioma Ossai

Pass Her the Mic Feature: Chioma Ossai

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We’re proud to be introducing you to, and featuring one of our community members! Today in this edition of Pass Her The Mic, we’re highlighting and interviewing Chioma Ossai and the incredible work she creates.

Chioma, please introduce yourself!

I am the author of “A Journey to Self-Love,” which explores concepts of softness, vulnerability, and sensuality. My poetry is often centered around themes of identity, healing, and authenticity, that challenges what it means to know and love one’s self. I was born and raised in New Jersey and currently based in Berlin, Germany. I received my Bachelor’s in Music at Montclair State University, and I’m a classically trained pianist. My mission is to simply tell inviting stories through poetry, music, and blogging with the hope to evolve, share, and inspire others to write stories of their own. Eventually I hope to provide workshops and resources to women that are centered around self-love and self-development.

What brought you to the place you are working from now, essentially, what in your history inspired you to do what you do NOW?

Mainly my mother, and the many conversations I have had with friends about setting boundaries and catering to self. They have often encouraged me to share my story and host discussions around these topics. Covid also gave me the tip to reflect and realize the importance of sharing one’s story. Every time I read my own work, I got emotional and knew that it was time to share my story in order to inspire others.

How do you define “collaboration”?

Collaboration is about sharing and exchanging ideas. It is about people working in unity and alignment to create something bigger than them. Collaboration is about cooperating, creating, and crafting something that tells a powerful story meant to inspire others.

How has collaboration helped you grow and succeed?

Collaboration has allowed me to see my strengths and weaknesses and where I could improve. It has required me to learn how to work with people and their different learning styles as well as their work ethics. Collaboration has also helped in my creative process and has challenged me to find innovative ways to tell meaningful stories.

What do you want people to remember most about the work that you’re creating?

I want people to remember how it makes them feel, and what it inspires them to do. I am an artist first, and I understand the value in art and the emotions it helps to evoke. I also want people to remember that they are just as capable of telling their stories in the way they want without permission. I hope people see themselves in my work and are able to feel inspired enough to write their own. Lastly, since my poetry focuses on healing and identity, I hope people form a closer bond with their own identity and are able to use some of the resources I include in my book of poetry to heal and become a better version of themselves.

What’s the next thing for you? What are you working on?

So I’ll actually be having an event with LBI this Sunday at 2pm EST to celebrate my book “A Journey to Self-Love.” Tickets are on the LBI site. The next thing after that is simple. To create and to empower. Specifically, I am in the process of editing my second book, Becoming Chi: The Journey to Self-Discovery,” which is set to release in the Fall of 2022. I am also working on crafting a newsletter that includes writing prompts, tips, and daily practices that are centered around self-awareness, healing, and emotional wellness. I would also love to host a women’s conference centered around these ideas where we could actively practice self-love. My hope is that women can leave this conference feeling empowered and be able to incorporate these practices in their daily lives so they can continue to strive in their business and personal lives.

Thank you so much for sharing who you are, what you do, and why you love it with us, Chioma! We’re looking forward to your upcoming event!

Fixing the Pipeline Problem by Better Supporting Women Entrepreneurs

Fixing the Pipeline Problem by Better Supporting Women Entrepreneurs

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Article Written by Dr. Susan Clark Muntean

Are you ever frustrated with the fact that the Big Tech companies, platforms, retailers, media conglomerates and really most large corporations across the globe don’t design their products and services in a way that best serves half the population? Those that lead corporations make decisions every day that impact women and our families in ways that don’t serve us well, contributing to a pipeline problem!

Fixing the Pipeline Problem by Better Supporting Women Entrepreneurs - Article written by Dr. Susan Clark Muntean

How can we get women seats at the head of the table across sectors and industries? 

Let’s focus on the “pipeline problem”:

The growth rate of women launching their own businesses has been outpacing that of men for years. In terms of business ownership, women have risen the past decade from 30 percent to nearly 40 percent of business owners as females are founding businesses at nearly twice the rate of men. Yet in 2020, less than 3 percent of all venture capital investment dollars went to female founders.

Given this form of investment is the path to an initial public offering on a publicly listed stock exchange, this translates into a miniscule number of women heading up the Fortune and S&P500 companies.  We need to fix this pipeline problem together!

Fixing the Pipeline Problem by Better Supporting Women Entrepreneurs - Article written by Dr. Susan Clark Muntean

The good news is there is nothing wrong with individual women; biases in the systems and institutions that serve entrepreneurs are what need to be fixed. As my research highlighted in Entrepreneurial Ecosystems:  A Gender Perspective published by Cambridge University Press, much of the gender gap can be attributed to structural, attitudinal and institutional barriers, and not some deficit in individual women or among women as a category.

The advice women receive is also flawed.

Too often, women are advised to act more like men in their entrepreneurial endeavors. But individual women are not the primary source of the gender gap in equity finance either. The main barriers lie in our perceptions of women, entrepreneurs, and who is worthy of investment, mentoring, and other resources.

Here are the top five ways to close the gender gap in equity finance, without putting the onus on individual women to change who they are or what they are doing as founders. 

  1. Ask women founders what they want and need, without judgment and by checking your assumptions about women and your stereotypes about entrepreneurs. Actively listen and design programming, resources, and support according to what women ask for. Women know best what they are striving for, what they are experiencing, and what barriers and issues they face as women.  Understanding these challenges is the first step to designing solutions to resolve the underlying problems women face as entrepreneurs.
  2. Design your outreach, programming, and events in a way that is inclusive and represents women, their interests, and needs. For example, holding weekend-long hackathons and pitch competitions late into the night, with atmospheres invoking memories of college fraternity parties is likely to turn off too many women and make the probability of their participation and satisfaction greatly reduced. Instead, make sure events featuring panelists, keynote speakers and experienced mentors are representative of the population you seek to serve.
  3. Respect women’s ideas, competence, ambition, and capabilities. An all-too-common complaint among female founders is that they feel condescended to and assumed incompetent, or as a cute anomaly or exception, or both. You wouldn’t want your daughter to be treated this way, so give women the same level of respect, dignity, and treatment as men, which they deserve without question or hesitation.
  4. Commit to transparency, accountability, action, and change. If leaders, gatekeepers, decision makers, and investors cannot hold themselves and their organizations to account for closing it, the gender gap in business and entrepreneurship will continue as it has for decades, with 97 percent of all venture capital funds in an average year being invested solely in male founders and their ventures.
  5. Fix a common underlying source of the gender gap, which is something called implicit bias—that is, stereotyping that is unconscious or subconscious, but nevertheless ubiquitous and harmful. Investors, resource providers, and leaders of organizations that have a mission to support and fund entrepreneurs such as those who run accelerator programs, incubators, co-working spaces, small business development centers, angel investor networks, and venture capital firms are the primary source of implicit bias that works systemically against female founders. Fixing the bias requires awareness, training, and holding these important actors responsible for the choices they make. Reward decisions that promote gender equity. Use metrics to measure progress on closing the gap. When those responsible for inclusive economic development through entrepreneurship commit to inclusion, keep themselves accountable through transparency, accountability, and positive and negative consequences for choices made, we will see the needle change on who gets funding and which firms succeed.
Fixing the Pipeline Problem by Better Supporting Women Entrepreneurs - Article written by Dr. Susan Clark Muntean

Share these with your network and especially with the men and leaders of support organizations that want to do a better job serving women, but don’t know how to get started. Let’s solve the pipeline problem and shift the paradigm now!

Find Dr. Susan here:

Facebook | LinkedIn | Instagram

Dr. Susan Clark Muntean is Associate Professor of Management at the University of North Carolina, Asheville. She is the author with Banu Ozkazanc-Pan of Entrepreneurial Ecosystems:  A Gender Perspective published by Cambridge University Press.

5 Ways to Start Loving Your Body

5 Ways to Start Loving Your Body

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Article written by Tiffany Nickel

Have you ever struggled with how to love your body when you just hate her (If the word hate bothers you, or doesn’t feel right, how about dislike)?

Maybe it’s an everyday battle with food, your appearance, the voices in and out of your head and how you feel during sexy times. Or perhaps you have the occasional bad day where you don’t like what you see in the mirror reflecting back at you.

Woman on couch. Text reads 5 ways to start loving your body

Either way, being at war with your body is not healthy and it’s exhausting as fuck. We live in a society obsessed with the shape and weight of our bodies. In a society where companies and our whole culture tell us what to hate about ourselves, and then picks on them until we become insecure about them. Please tell me I am not the only one who sees how fucked up this is.  

Learning to fully love and accept your body isn’t linear and it takes time. Unfortunately there are no quick fixes.  Trust me, I know, there simply aren’t any short cuts. But there are some small, powerful steps you can take each day to begin loving (does “loving” feel too strong, how about liking) your body instead of hating her and feeling hopeless about this damaged relationship. 

Here’s the beginning steps to start loving your body:  

1. Acknowledgement.

That’s right. You gotta get super real and admit that the relationship you have with your body SUCKS or at the very least isn’t what you want it to be (yet). 

It’s okay that you’re struggling to love your body right now. Plenty of us are.

You know why?

Because we live in a society that constantly teaches us to hate our bodies. And if you manage to grow up unscathed, you’re one of the few, not the many.

But what’s important is you’re aware of your current relationship with your body, and you’re acknowledging that you want to make some changes. Because this is the first step to change.

So be accepting of your negative relationship with your body. And acknowledge that you want to create a friendship with your body.  Tell yourself this, and mean it.

2. Asking the Right Questions.

Why do I want to look different than I do right now?

Have you ever really thought about this? It is a skipped over question, because it doesn’t even cross your mind. So there’s no better time than now to think about why you want to look different.

Why do you want your body to be a different shape or size?

More times than not, your reasons are deeply rooted in external love and acceptance. You believe that a more “attractive” body (whatever that means, because really we don’t know and it’s always changing) will get other people to like you, or respect you, value you, love you, have sex with you etc.  

Graphic on text says " on the journey to loving your body, you have to start asking yourself the right questions"

This is the biggest body lie out there. Changing the way you look does not equal happiness. Sure, it might be a factor in helping you feel good about yourself, but it’s definitely not the sole answer. As someone who has weighed well over 200 LBS and under 100LBS in my adult life I would know, I was never happier at any of these weights even if I “thought momentarily” my body looked better. 

Don’t believe me? You only have to look at people who have had cosmetic surgery, or naturally thin models, who are still battling with addictions, eating disorders and hate for their bodies.

For you to really learn to love your body, you have to let go of the belief that your “dream body” (whatever that even really is) will fix all your problems. Because if you don’t address why you don’t feel good about yourself today, you’ll carry those feelings with you until you confront them, and process with them.

As cliche as it sounds, true love, true joy, and true pleasure come from within you, babe. 

3. Stopping the Judgment

Do you spend your day walking around or scrolling on your phone and criticizing the way other people look? Or maybe wishing your body could look like “hers”?

When you do this, you reinforce the idea that your body equates to your worth and value as a human being. And news flash, your body size (big or small) has NOTHING to do with your worthiness or value. In case you didn’t get that I’m going to state it again in a different way.
The way you look holds absolutely NO value as a human in this world. 

On top of that, you keep yourself trapped in a negative, low-vibration state. And this will affect your mood and mental health, which you’ll then bring with you into everything you do the rest of the day.

Deep down, I know that you know, you deserve to be loved and accepted for who you are right now RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! So release your judgment, because it’s not serving you or your body.

4. Less Focus on Weight

We are so obsessed with our weight, we try to determine our health and value based on the number of the scale. You cannot demonize your body, while simultaneously worshiping it above all else.

Ever find yourself in toxic habits that you are unaware of, or unable to break free from. As a society we are so detached from our bodies, that we don’t hear them speaking to us; telling us what they want and need. Even when we do, we don’t trust them. 

But we can’t stop punishing ourselves until we stop believing we deserve to be punished. And to do that, you have to stop scrutinizing, what you eat, how you experience pleasure, what the scale says, and the number on the back of your jeans.

What would happen if you made a shift, and started focusing all that energy you use on food, and your weight and directing it toward compassion and radical body love?

This is the KEY to breaking the vicious cycle, and freeing yourself from your own obsession with weight. When you do that, you will naturally start making choices that make you feel amazing and set your soul on fire. 

5. Masturbate

Yup. Masturbation is essential to feeling joy, pleasure and connecting to your wonderland of a body! Caressing and playing with your most intimate, sensitive parts, is a wonderful way to reconnect with your body, and associate it with pleasure.

You’ll get to know your body on a deeper level, understand that you are worthy of pleasure, and feel good. Plus, orgasms fill you with intoxicating chemicals that leave you on a type high. And you’ll have your body to thank for that.

I encourage you to make it like a ritual for yourself. Have a bath, light some candles, slip into something that makes you feel sexy, and just have fun exploring your body. 

These 5 things are just the start. I highly recommend getting some support, (not only as a professional) but also as a woman who has tried to do this work by herself for years. It’s nearly impossible to see your blind spots. You have the power. You’ve always had the power. So take it back today you gloriously magnificent creature!

Servant Leadership: Using Your Business to Lead and Inspire Others

Servant Leadership: Using Your Business to Lead and Inspire Others

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Article Writen by Kelly Harris

What differentiates a good leader from a bad? 

Think about it. We can all clearly distinguish a good leader from a bad. Is it the demands a bad boss makes of our time that places him squarely in the bad leader category? Is it the unmet expectations or is it the promise of a raise and then the letdown of a good review versus a great review? What about a good leader? Is it their willingness to help others grow into leaders that makes them a good leader? Is it their willingness to listen? Perhaps it’s their ability to help you become the person that you want to be? My question to you is, What category do you fall into as a leader? 

Several months ago I was blessed to be in a leadership class that altered my perspective on leadership for the better. This class focused on servant leadership and has since become the foundation that I model within my own company. 

Principles of Servant Leadership:

“Servant-leadership is all about making the goals clear and then rolling your sleeves up and doing whatever it takes to help people win. In that situation, they don’t work for you, you work for them.”

Ken Blanchard

Servant leadership is the idea that you flip the traditional leadership model on its head. For generations, leaders have been expected to provide guidance, direction and support to their staff, while keeping motivation high. The cornerstone of servant leadership is the emphasis on service. Servant leaders focus on their team, rather than the entire company. 

Many believe that focusing on the people in the company helps produce skilled employees who are experts in their field. This focus also helps employees to feel motivated, making it more likely to help improve operations and management. 

Servant leadership requires leaders to be ethical in their choices and lead by example.  It allows for diversity of thought and encourages all ideas. The final product is often a collaboration of many gifted individuals.

Servant leaders are coaches

Servant leaders are often guided by their personal mission, vision and values. This attracts people who are in alignment with the leader and builds a sense of trust. As a servant leader, you must have a clear understanding that it’s not about you. It never was and it never will be.

Adopting an attitude of  “It’s all about us!” creates a safe culture for risk taking.  That risk taking leads to out of the box thinking and ultimately to innovative products and ideas. 

Servant leaders take on the role of a coach rather than a boss. They don’t boss people around because their people already have the skills and motivation to take on the projects and be successful. 

Servant leaders look for Obstructions within a Project, and work to remove them

Research suggests that employees are the most fulfilled when they are making progress in their business. Servant leaders establish daily check- ins with their team, identify blocks and obstacles and then brainstorm with the team ways to remove the blocks and move forward. Essentially, servant leaders work to build their team into leaders. 

A great example of a servant leader is George Washington. As the story goes, on a rainy day during the Revolutionary War, George Washington was out riding when he came upon a group of soldiers attempting, without success, to get a huge log beam into position. All the while their commander shouted words of encouragement  from atop his horse. After watching for a moment, Washington dismounted, rolled up his sleeves and went to work with the soldiers.  When he finished, all wet and tired from the work, he told his soldiers, “If you should need help again, call on Washington, your commander-in-chief, and I will come” (Maxwell, 2011).  This story was told from soldier to soldier and many historians believe that this was why his soldiers were so loyal to him and willing to follow him into battle. 

Leading from the back to build leaders

Servant leaders build leaders of tomorrow. Service to others is their motto and they work to empower their people to lead. Service leaders are enablers, supporting and guiding rather than dictating and demanding. Servant leaders set guidelines and teach their team to work for the greater  good of the company.  As a team, servant leaders trust that their team has the skills and expertise to support the project and get it done. 

Inspiring Change

Change comes from new ideas. New ideas lead to innovation. Servant leaders inspire change by being open to the new ideas that their team brings to the table through their diversity or experiences and ideas.  When leaders focus on inspiring others through service, all the other pieces click into place. What changes can you inspire in your organization?

So, I’ll ask you this, what kind of leader do you aspire to be?

Find Kelly Here:

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References

Blanchard, Ken. Leadership Quote on Servant Leadership. Written November 17 2019. Accessed on  December 9 2021. Retrieved from http://www.leancxscore.com/leadership-quote-ken-blanchard-on-servant-leadership/

Hayzlett, Jeffrey. 4 Principles of Servant Leadership. Written on October 16 2019.  Accessed on  December 9 2021. Retrieved from https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/340791

Penn State Leadership Psych 485 Blog. George Washington as an example of Servant Leadership. Written November 20 2021. Accessed on  December 9 2021. Retrieved from https://sites.psu.edu/leadership/2012/11/20/george-washington-as-an-example-of-servant-leadership/

Tait, Brian. Traditional leadership Vs. Servant Leadership. Written on March 11 2020. Accessed on December 9 2021. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2020/03/11/traditional-leadership-vs-servant-leadership/?sh=78c57de4451e

Tarallo, Mark. The Art of Servant Leadership. Written May 17 2018. © 2021 SHRM. Accessed on  December 9 2021. Retrieved from https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/organizational-and-employee-development/pages/the-art-of-servant-leadership.aspx

How Collaboration Saved My Life

How Collaboration Saved My Life

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Article written by Kerri Lewis

As the second oldest in a family of six children, collaboration started at an early age for me. Given the fact that my family was so big, there was always cleaning to do. Saturday mornings were often spent discussing tasks needing completion and collaborating with my siblings on best ways to minimize cleaning time and maximize the time we had to play. Man, we were smart kids. Looking back, never could I have imagined back then that what often felt like annoying, time consuming conversations would help set the stage for my future success.

After all, had I not learned to ask for help as a child, would it have come so easily in adulthood? Considering that oftentimes the narrative is, asking for help is a sign of weakness, I think not. Funny how things work out! 

Due to life and the way things sometimes shake out, at the ripe old age of 14 I found myself navigating life with little direction or guidance. Due to the lack of parental oversight, I often found myself in precarious situations forcing me to reach out to friends for help. While more often than not, the suggestions offered were misguided, I always knew I had a couple of friends that I could bounce ideas off of and who would give me honest feedback about the choices I was making. 

I mean hey, when you are young, dumb and have little parental oversight, collaborating with friends on how to make money, get something to eat or find shelter means the difference between a night spent afraid or a night spent in safety. As I reminisce on these years, I can’t help but thank god for good friends. 

Now, despite alluding to making some pretty poor life choices as a teen, and I did, I also had work ethic! Something my parents instilled in me for as far back as I can remember. So despite causing trouble and doing things I cringe thinking about today, I can proudly say that I never went without steady employment. Because of my time running on the streets and because I fell second in my family’s pecking order, leading came naturally to me and so at the age of 17, I landed a job as assistant manager for a gas station. Talk about stepping into a crash course on getting people’s byon and soliciting ideas from others. Man, when you are in charge of people three times your age, you learn real quick the importance of collaboration. From having a tough conversation, to scheduling, delegation and communication, if I wanted to succeed, I had to ask for help. 

Yup, I said it, the word help. Something many fear asking for because they have been conditioned to believe that to ask for help makes them appear incompetent or worse yet weak. Fortunately for me in order to survive, I didn’t have the luxury of worrying how people viewed me. I just needed to make things happen. And that is exactly what I did.

As I gained confidence in my leadership skills and ability to run successful businesses, I started to work my way up the corporate ladder, first for Starbucks. and then for Nordstrom. Both careers required me to collaborate with diverse groups of people to ensure the community in which we were doing business was represented. And by represented, I mean a strong understanding of who our customer was and how to best communicate with and serve them. Additionally, it was through the art of collaboration that I was able to learn and grow as a leader. Rather than assuming I had it all figured out, I stayed curious, asked leaders and mentors for advice and feedback about my performance so that I could continuously develop both personally and professionally. And grow, I did! 

Despite only having a tenth grade education, my willingness to remain open to new ideas, to try new things and to remain receptive to both positive and critical feedback set the stage for me to be hired as part of a team of 36 to help open a start-up cannabis company. Whoop whoop! Not too shabby for a girl from Worcester MA who never even made it to college. 

Now despite having an extensive experience in collaborating with others to ensure the success of the businesses I was hired to run, stepping into building a startup in a new industry created an even greater need for collaborative efforts. Because the cannabis industry was so new in MA,  things were constantly changing, technology was being built on the fly and one never knew when the commission was going to add some additional regulation that inevitably would change the way the company needed to operate.

Through the unwavering focus on making sure things were done right, the willingness of many to remain open to new possibilities and new ways of doing things and the relentless pursuit of excellence I can proudly say, I was part of building a successful company that not only scored in the top of it’s class for service but also had a strong focus on it’s people.

While I had every intention of staying with the company I helped build long term, Covid hit the world and I watched in horror as my employees and customers’ mental health took a sharp nose dive. Working in the cannabis space gave me a birds eye view of just how many people did not have the tools necessary to handle the inevitable ups and downs of life. I saw employees and customers alike increase their cannabis consumption as a means to manage the overwhelming emotions that inevitably came with a life changing event such as a pandemic.

What I realized as I continued to observe emotional upheaval all around me was that my 28 year love affair with studying all things related Psychology, Theology and Stoicism had helped me develop a deep reservoir of tools and skills that kept my own mental health from spiraling despite what was happening in the world. Because of my deep love of all people, I knew I needed to share the wisdom I had acquired with others so that they too could gain control over their mental health. With hope and a prayer, I stepped out of the corporate arena and into the world of personal and business coaching, also known as self employed with no guarantee of an income. Wow, was this scary. 

Now you might be asking, how does going into business for yourself lend to the topic of collaborating with others. While on the surface this appears like a valid question, the reality is stepping into new, no matter what that new is requires a great deal of collaboration.

From learning how to market my business, to getting help dialing in my ideal client, to figuring out this whole social media thing (still a work in progress) there has not been a day that has gone by since starting this endeavor that I have not had to reach out to many people and ask for help, for creative ideas and on occasion, even the bartering of services all to ensure the success of my business. Dang, as I type these words, I’m grinning ear to ear! Realizing that it has been and still is the collective efforts of many that have made my business the success that it is today. 

As I continue to hone my skills as a coach, build my knowledge as an entrepreneur and continue to do my own inner work so that I can continue to become the best expression of me possible, I acknowledge that it is through the efforts of many that I will continue to rise. Whether it’s a tough conversation about how I manage my schedule or a book suggestion that will help me with some area of my business, I know I’m only as successful as the kindness and feedback I’m willing to remain open to receiving. It’s not lost upon me just how lucky I am. Or am I? 

While I see the narrative changing around asking for help, being in the business I’m in, it’s clear we have a long way to go before people can easily pick up the phone and say “hey, I’m stuck, can you give me a hand” without feeling mass amounts of guilt or shame. My hope for you all in reading a bit about me is that I inspire you to be brave. Inspire you to set aside the worry in your head that someone will judge you and reach out and ask for help. The reality is, not only can we not emotionally and physically afford to do it alone, we were never meant to. It is through connection, community and the collaborative efforts of many that create the greatest impact.

And so in conclusion I’ll leave with a quote from Alexander Graham Bell “Great discoveries and improvements invariably involve the cooperation of many minds” and ask you this, if collaboration saved my life all those years ago, just imagine what it can do for you, your business or the world? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Find Kerri Here:

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