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Inclusivity in Coaching Through Exclusion

Inclusivity in Coaching Through Exclusion

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…and how it creates safer practices for all

Article written by Kitty Kistler

The term “safe space” isn’t new. In fact, safe spaces began in the 1960s during the women’s movement and continue to gain traction 60 years later. But, like most things, such space warrants a two sided argument to why they’re still needed and if they cause more harm than good.

Siding on the idea of a necessary space that provides common ground, these spaces were -and still are- never intended to make others feel left out, but instead provide a place where people are not subject to bias, discrimination, and criticism from the outside world. 

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Offering someone protection inside of a safety net might feel like the logical solution to helping others thrive in the world, but the conversation comes with debate. One, not of diversity and inclusion, but of tolerance and intolerance.

Intolerance demands comfort, understanding, and conformity, which makes the uncompromising more critical inside spaces where lack of prejudice is not only necessary, but sometimes a matter of life or death.

Tolerance, on the other hand, demands the discomfort of awareness while often lacking the need for formal understanding and conformity. Tolerance accepts and honors differences and allows exclusive boundaries to protect the person and honor the progress.

As much as you want to believe the world has changed, progress has occurred, and equality is the new norm, the reality is the tremendous amount of work left to do, especially in a progressive and rapidly growing industry such as personal development and wellness.

From the outside looking in, the coaching industry might appear to relate only to a certain level of readiness, discipline, and self indulgence–leaving behind a mysterious sense of elitism that only the wealthy and truly motivated are privy to.

By not showcasing the industry’s diversity, a huge gap remains in the mission to serve all, because not everyone sees a familiar representation of who they are.

To confront this issue head on, the International Coaching Federation (ICF) released a statement of inclusion and diversity asking it to be at the forefront of the mission. 

“Our mission is to lead the global advancement of coaching. To do this, we must reflect on our blind spots and be aware of opportunities for improvement.” – ICF 

However, as a self regulating industry with no one authority over its mission, it seems blind spots still exist and a lot of misinformed mainstreamers are left to believe coaching is a luxury not often afforded to those in “ordinary” lifestyles. 

 

Diversity within the industry does exist, but you have to invest the time and patience to find the space that you identify with–as both a client and a colleague. The exhaustion of seeking support but not knowing how or where to find it, actually provides a higher likelihood that someone won’t find the safe space they need–or worse, they won’t ask for help because of the possible rejection of not fitting in. 

As the world shifts and ‘coaching’ becomes a household word, a lunch and learn workplace opportunity, a conversation in schools, and (yes, of course) an internet buzzword, the need for accessible and visible inclusion remains high on the list of righting wrongs. 

It might seem easy to cross inclusion off the to-do list when you’re supporting an audience of ten to 100 members, but how does a coach grow their business AND show inclusivity AND provide a safe space when they’re just one person or a very small team?

This is where waters get muddy, nuance is critical, and self awareness is vital to maintaining your position and authority in your market. 

The purpose of a safe space, or being a ‘safe harbor’ coach, is to allow members to feel comfortable enough to ask for support around their own needs, but also understand that the advocacy inside of the group must be heard outside of the space to actually invoke the change. 

Safe spaces offer the necessary protection of one’s identity, while also allowing a collective need for progressive tolerance and inclusion to become more recognized within society.

The best way to become a lighthouse and beacon of safety is to lead by example.

  • Know your audience and be exclusive for them–provide them a safe space that is private and non judgemental, be willing to exclude those who would feel unsafe/harmful or have opposition to the culture you’re creating.
  • Stay curious and allow open dialogue–especially difficult ones, but know when to step in and offer insights, moderation, and critical thinking to promote further tolerance and the group member’s growth as well.
  • Practice inclusivity and tolerance in your daily life–weave it into your values, content, programming, and service offers, and make others feel safe and acknowledged even when they know they aren’t your target audience.

 

 

So, what makes putting this into practice so hard?

Social influence has programmed the belief that inclusivity means inclusion for all, without exception. 

However, being a safe harbor must also include exclusion for the safety of its members. Without this exclusion, members will feel threatened, they’ll be less likely to share, seek, and advocate for themselves, and the group is more vulnerable to intolerant thoughts and actions.

The coaching industry must work together and adopt the ideology of being all-human embracing to remove the harmful narratives that have created so much bias.

Maintaining exclusive safe space does not mean you don’t love, honor, and respect all others, but it does mean you recognize, see, and validate someone who might not know where they belong. Coaches must choose to be leaders who understand that everyone has a story and a wound that needs to be healed, but they’re also worthy of living a life of liberated happiness.

When you practice inclusivity, exclusion becomes less about elitism and more about the humanness of providing someone with the community support they need.

 

Find Kitty here:

Find Kitty here:

Facebook // www.facebook.com/groups/howtolifecoach

Instagram // @ kitty_kistler

LinkedIn // @ kittykistler

Kitty Kistler is an experienced Life Coach + Business Mentor.

Driven by a desire to see integrity within the coaching community she created Ready, Set, Coach Academy to teach aspiring coaches, course creators, influencers, and social marketers how to coach professionally and build sustainable heart + values centered businesses. Her goal is to expand and diversify the industry while helping more coaches become successful, profitable business owners as well.

How to Unlock Your Productivity Potential

How to Unlock Your Productivity Potential

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(and avoid burnout)

Article written by Avery Thatcher

Hey high achiever! I see you – looking for ways to increase your productivity and get more done in less time!

You’re a woman in business, on a mission to make your corner of the world a better place and that’s incredible!

But…

… you’re stuck on the cycle of burnout being incredibly productive one day, while crashing and procrastinating on another. You’re met with message after message online of where you should be spending your time if you want to grow your business.

 

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This hustle culture is starting to make you doubt if you’re even cut out for this whole ‘entrepreneur thing’ in the first place.

So you find yourself looking for resources, signing up for courses, and joining co-working programs to try and keep you and your business on track. You keep searching for the secret to cracking the code for how to get more done in less time.

Want the answer?

Lean in close.

You’re asking the wrong question.

It’s not so much about how to get more done in less time, as it is about making sure that you’ve optimized the four key components of the productivity puzzle to make it possible for you to be consistently productive in a way that matches your energy, responsibilities, and expectations for yourself.

Instead of asking “how can I be more productive?” I encourage you to ask yourself “how can I optimize my productivity potential?”

Let me explain.

The Four Puzzle Pieces of Productivity

There are four key components of productivity:

  • Clarity and Alignment
  • Stress Management
  • Energy Management, and
  • Time Management

Each of these components interact with each other and all need to be optimized if you want to become your most productive self and avoid the downfalls of hustle culture that inevitably lead to burnout. If one of these pieces are out of balance, the entire system collapses and we’re left struggling with procrastination.

We’ve probably all heard of shiny object syndrome, and basically what that means is that we’re tempted and distracted by things that aren’t in alignment with our mission and goals, and that means that we spend too much time doing things that aren’t going to make our long-term goals a reality.

Signing up for new courses, free trainings, challenges, keeping ourselves busy, all that kind of thing can really slow us down because we THINK that we’re doing something productive. We’re learning right, and it means that we’re embracing a lifetime of learning which is really exciting. I see this a lot in high-achievers diving into personal development. We’re great at learning…

But there comes a point where learning is just covert procrastination because if we don’t put that learning into ACTION, then we’re really just distracting ourselves from facing our obstacles that are keeping us in this same space where we are right now.

So how do we stay out of this space of sneaky procrastination?

Productivity Tip #1 – Clarity and Alignment

If we don’t have clarity with our big picture goals, our smaller goals are less likely to be in alignment with what we’re really hoping to achieve, which leaves us working on things that keep us busy, but don’t actually serve our ultimate mission.

By achieving clarity and ensuring that what we’re doing is staying in alignment with that is essential to our productivity because it makes sure that we’re working on the tasks that will really make the biggest difference. 

 

 

This starts by writing your clarity statement, because with your clarity statement you will be able to then know if something is in or out of alignment; you’ll know what opportunities, tasks and activities to say yes to and what to say no to.

Once you have your clarity statement, it’s going to be easier to prevent burnout because you’ll be able to operate in your peak performance zone by mastering your stress response.

Productivity Tip #2 – Stress Management

What you may not realize is that there are two kinds of stress: 

  • Distress – The stress that we know more commonly and that’s distress, the stress that feels heavy and awful and causes all kinds of problems.
  • Eustress – The positive, productive, motivating stress where we’re in the zone, we’re in flow, we’re getting stuff done and we’re just killing it, rocking our life and our goals.

This is the stress curve based on the Yerkes-Dodson Law created by psychologists Robert M. Yerkes and John Dillingham Dodson in 1908. It illustrates the relationship between productivity and pressure.

 

 

Here on the left hand side we don’t have enough pressure, and in this state we’re wired as humans to kinda sit around and do nothing! Here we don’t have motivation, we don’t have drive, we don’t feel connected to a purpose or a mission, we don’t have clarity and therefore we don’t have momentum or alignment. 

But, here at the peak of the curve we have momentum, we have drive, we have goals and the energy we need to support our ability to achieve those goals.

But, as with so many entrepreneurs, we’re high achievers, and as a high achiever, it’s very easy for us to shoot way the heck over this peak and the optimal balance where our productivity and pressure are optimized – and roll all the way down over here getting closer and closer to burnout. In this space of burnout, we lose access to our CEO, higher level thinking part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex which makes it harder for us to be productive because our brains aren’t wired for success in this space – it’s working to run away from a bear, not figure out why your website isn’t working.

We can absolutely get ourselves back into eustress and out of distress with some simple techniques including one I’m going to share with you right now.

The simplest thing you can do to keep access to this higher level thinking brain of yours is to practice breathing techniques. There are many different breathing techniques you can use and today we’re going to talk about the 5-5-5 breathing technique.

5-5-5 breathing is when you take 5 slow deep breaths for 5 seconds on the inhale, 5 seconds on the exhale This breathing technique has been scientifically proven to deactivate the fight or flight sympathetic nervous system and bring us back into rest and digest parasympathetic side. This means that if you start to feel your stress response ramping up, you can take control of that switch with this breathing technique and regain access to your CEO brain.

Other ways to manage your stress include work-life balance, taking time off, and taking care of yourself.

Which ties in perfectly to our next puzzle piece, energy management and the four energy spheres

Productivity Tip #3 – Energy Management

Now, when we think of energy we think we either have an abundance of energy, or we’re completely fried and have nothing left to give or are operating in survival mode, activating our stress response and losing access to that higher level thinking brain.

Having the right balance of energy means that we’re capable of being productive. Without energy, we procrastinate, we work slowly and get frustrated about how little we’re accomplishing, and we are overwhelmed with all that we have to do and have no idea how we’re going to get it all done.

The thing about energy is that it’s simple, but not simple at the same time. It’s simple in that we either have things that restore our energy or deplete it. But some things may both restore and deplete energy at the same time.

You are not a simple being, and so we can’t qualify your energy as one unit. 

We have four different energy spheres:

  • Our physical energy
  • Our emotional energy
  • Our mental energy
  • And our metaphysical energy

Let’s break these all down.

Physical energy is pretty easy because it’s what we typically define energy levels by. We either feel awake and alive, or we feel tired and struggle to move.

Emotional energy is slightly different. When you feel drained without feeling tired, irritable, or a lack of interest in what usually lights you up it could either be emotional energy drain, or mental energy drain.

We make important decisions every day that impact us, our life and the people we help. Knowing what drains and restores our mental energy and learning how to build more mental stamina is essential for entrepreneurial success. Mental Energy Balance, more than any of the others, is key for us to know how to master.

Finally, we have the metaphysical energy space. We’re not going to go too in depth in this space here, but I want you to think about this in the context of your contribution to the world and how you make your corner of the world a better place. This is the bigger picture kind of thing, connecting with that clarity statement from before.

 

 

Alright, so we have physical, emotional, mental, and metaphysical energy spheres. Let’s look at how they all interact with each other with some examples.

One of my non-negotiables during the day include a walk with our dog, Takoda. This drains my physical energy, but restores my mental and emotional energy.

When I teach a workshop online, it drains physical, emotional and mental energy, but really restores metaphysical energy – my connection to my purpose, mission and drive.

Do you see how the four energy spheres are connected?

If I want to optimize my productivity, I have to make sure that I have the physical, emotional, and mental energy to work on the tasks that move my business forward, which then boost my metaphysical energy or my connection to my contribution to the world.

High-achievers are notorious for taking on too much, pushing themselves too hard, and burning themselves out. We need to find the balance, and so by monitoring our energy spheres we’re able to find and maintain that balance more easily.

Alright, now for the moment you’ve been waiting for…

Productivity Tip #4 – Time Management

Here’s where the hustle culture really backfires and makes it harder for us to be as productive as we want to be.

By trying to do more, you’re making it so that you’re able to accomplish less and what you can accomplish won’t be up to the quality and standards that you generally have for yourself. This further demotivates you, pushes you further down that stress curve decline and brings on the burnout. 

One of the most important things we can learn how to do is to say no to everything at first and then give yourself five minutes to convince yourself it’s a yes. To help guide you through this process, here are some questions for you to consider:

 

 

Is there a hard and fast rule of the number of “no’s” that you’re allowed to have in this question list before you take something new on – no. These questions here are just to help guide the decision to make sure you’re not going to set yourself up for an impossible time management situation where you’ve taken on too much.

Alright, so let’s wrap it up and bring everything together to create your pre-work routine to unlock your productivity potential. It’s going to tie all of the puzzle pieces together.

Developing a Pre-Work Routine to Optimize your Productivity Potential

The first part of an effective pre-work ritual is to read your clarity statement to keep your mission top of mind before you start your work session.

The second part is to practice one round of 5-5-5 breathing to turn off your stress switch and regain access to your prefrontal cortex, your higher level thinking brain

The next piece is to check in with your energy levels and see if you need to do something for a few minutes first to boost the energy sphere that you’re going to need the most in this work session. Planning for an energy level recovery activity after your work session will be important as well.

And finally is to set realistic expectations and goals for how you want to use this work session, what you want to prioritize, and make sure that you do your most dreaded, difficult or time consuming task first.

Bring these four things together, and you’ll be able to achieve and maintain your peak performance, helping more people, accomplishing more, and feeling more like yourself – without burning out, crashing or getting sick.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to try out this productivity routine before your next work session and notice how it goes for you. Challenge accepted?

 

Find Avery here:

Find Avery here:

Website | Instagram

Avery Thatcher is the CEO and founder of the Inner Stillness Outer Chaos Podcast and the Flow State Membership. When she started her career as a Registered Nurse working in the ICU she noticed that the majority of the reasons people found themselves in the ICU were because of illnesses and diseases that could be linked to chronic stress. She decided to get out of the reactive side of medicine and now helps highly sensitive high achievers prevent burnout and reverse the negative health effects of stress.

After experiencing a significant change of health in 2018, Avery had to learn to redefine her identity and grieve the loss of who she used to be. Now she shares her story openly to help others realize that they are not alone in their struggles, and talks about the strategies that helped her heal along the way.

Sex and Sexual Awakening

Sex and Sexual Awakening

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Article written by Pauline Ryeland

Sex is an energy and it’s our life force.  Sexual Awakening is about wakening up our sexual energy and get it moving though our body.  This is different to friction based sex, which we’re already experiencing.

 

ARTICLE WRITTEN BY PAULINE RYELAND

 

What does Sex and Sexual Awakening actually mean?

Just for a moment, take some time to think about how you have sex.

  • How do you experience it?
  • What goes on in your body?
  • What feelings and emotions do you feel?
  • What thoughts are occurring for you whilst you’re in the middle of it?
  • Where is your focus?

That’s quite a bit to think about isn’t it?

Imagine what it would be like to awaken yourself, to be able to experience sex at a level that is beyond your comprehension. Opening yourself to fully engage with your sexuality so that you can reach the sexual potential that is your birth right as a human being.

Would you be willing to do that?

Most people when they are having sex are not connected, grounded or present with themselves let alone their partner. This is a recipe for massive disconnection which then restricts how you and your body engages and responds during a sexual experience.

Connection is key

The reason we check out during sex is varied and is not something we are often conscious of. It can be as simple as a habit; you’re experiencing an orgasm, so you shut your eyes & go off somewhere into the cosmos. There is nothing wrong with doing this, however when your eyes are closed you disconnect from self and your partner.

So just open your eyes occasionally, look at your partner, breath and moan together, connect. It can also come from lack of self-worth and self-esteem. Maybe there is unresolved sexual trauma and you check out because you don’t feel safe in your body, even though you feel safe with your partner.  Alcohol and drugs, whether prescription or ones you perhaps party with, will also have you disconnect.

 

 

Also on a sub-conscious level we put limits on our sexual pleasure, crazy I know! 

A woman may think, “oh finally I had my orgasm,” so they just stop. A man believes he’s done because he’s ejaculated and stops.  What would happen if they stayed in the space of receiving, in the space of pleasure?

We are in our heads so much and sometimes we’re not even in our busy heads, we are off in space somewhere.  We wonder what we look like and can become self-consciousness about that.  

I mean seriously, orgasm face, contorting with pleasure can look like quite out there, yet you need to let go of that and be in the joy and pleasure of it all. Maybe a woman doesn’t like going on top because as she bounces around having a good time, so is the rest of her body which makes her feel self-conscious, so she’ll disconnect from herself. 

The reality of it is the person underneath you doesn’t care, they are loving it.  Guys on a sub-conscious level are wondering if they are good enough, man enough, if their penis is big enough, can they get the woman to orgasm…it’s like a mission and we end up with a whole lot of “to do lists” of got to do this, before we can do that and so it’s like this eternal search for more.

So, while all this is going on we disengage, disconnect

We also disconnect from our sexual experience if we watch too much porn.  When we engage with porn on a consistent basis we are externalizing, which disconnects us from ourselves. There are ways to utilize porn in your sexual play where you can stay connected to yourself.

We not only disconnect from our bodies, we also create a massive disconnection from our hearts and genitals, it’s almost like they come from 2 different locations

So how does this disconnection affect us?

What it does is keeps us in our heads, which doesn’t allow the natural sexual energy to flow.

Sex has become a goal orientated and action driven experience and everyone wants a bigger, better, more potent sexual experience than the last time. So this is where us Women in Leadership, need to loosen the reigns, connect into our feminine flow and surrender to what is.

 

 

If we looked at a graph for sex, at one end would be Joy and Bliss and at the other end there would be excitement. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, however there is a lot of pleasure being missed out on in between because we are all busy in our heads, consciously or sub-consciously going through our check lists.

As a society we are always chasing more and in sex it’s no different. Sex is an energy and when we learn how to manipulate the energy, we can take our erotic pleasure beyond anything we can even imagine!

Another key – Breath!

Not just every day breathing, using specific breath to activate the auto-nommic nervous system.  Fast breathing activates the sympathetic part of the system and long slow deep breaths activates the para-sympathetic part of the nervous system. 

When we add this in, it helps awaken the sexual energy and gets it moving through out bodies. Plus a lot of people hold their breath when they orgasm.  If you breathe fully and deeply through the orgasm instead of holding your breath, then the sexual energy has room to continue moving and playing, which will light up your body even more.

Finally – The Pelvic Floor

As Women in Business and Women in Leadership, I am sure you all know about the pelvic floor muscles and how important they are in general.  However, when you add that to the mix when doing the breathwork, it opens up a whole other world which really starts moving the sexual energy through the body more.

When you can experience that, you can become more awake in your body and tap into being an even more totally empowered multi-orgasmic woman.

And we all want more of that, right? RIGHT!!

 

Find Pauline here:

Find Pauline here:

Facebook | Instagram | Linkedin

Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer ® works as an Intimacy, Sex, Libido & Relationship Coach & Educator.  Pauline works with individuals or couples around any challenges they maybe experiencing around intimacy, sex, libido, relationships and everything in between.  Her unique point of difference is that she combines, mind, body and soul drawing on knowledge and expertise from Tantra, Sexological Body Work, NLP and Access Consciousness.

5 Ways Women in Business Can Practice Inclusivity

5 Ways Women in Business Can Practice Inclusivity

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When most people think of the word ‘inclusivity,’ they likely think of diversity in the workplace. And while that’s an important aspect of inclusivity, it’s not the only one. Inclusive businesses are those that recognize and celebrate diversity in all forms, including age, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, physical ability, and religious beliefs.

It’s up to us, as women, as entrepreneurs, as ladybosses to create the inclusive environments we want to be a part of and leave behind us as a part of our legacy.

So how can women in business create an inclusive environment?

5 Ways Women...

Here are 5 practical ways you can be more inclusive:

Create Opportunities for Different Voices:

When it comes to the services you provide, the places you have conversations, the platforms you go live on, etc… are you making space and providing opportunities for women from all walks of life to access and join the conversation?

I know it can be hard to get outside of our comfort zones sometimes, but women in business can create a more inclusive environment by being vulnerable and uncomfortable. Leading the way in inclusivity will require us, at times, to do things that stretch us and cause is to grow. So challenge yourself to look at the voices that are being shared in your business and push yourself to create more opportunities where needed.

Be Open to Collaborations:

As women in business, especially in the online space, collaboration is a huge key to growth and success. But are you collaborating with the same people over and over again? Are you making sure that you’re being inclusive in the opportunities you offer and in the opportunities you seek for yourself?

 

 

If women in business are feeling like they’re stuck or that there’s no way to collaborate outside of their own circle, it might be time to do a little digging. When women say ‘no’ to women, women lose out on opportunities for growth and success. So we need to encourage each other to look beyond the people they’re already connected with and open themselves to new possibilities, new avenues for growth, and new ways to include more women.

Make Your Content Accessible:

As we’ve been growing and developing LBI and the Backstage Pass, we’ve been learning about ways to be inclusive by making our content accessible and functional for everyone.

From clubhouse to images on our blog and social media, and everything in between we’re committed to making it easy to connect and join the conversations we’re engaged in.

Practically speaking this means:

Using clubhouse best practices for persons with vision or hearing impairments. We introduce ourselves when we “unmic”, and finish our thoughts with “I pass the mic” or “I am done speaking”, so it’s clear who is speaking and when someone new begins.

Including alt text on our images so that persons with visual impairment can understand the imagery we use and the context of it.

These are just a few examples of best practices that all everyone to be included in what we’re creating and sharing from a practical stand point.

Ask for Feedback:

A key piece of what we believe inclusivity to be, includes an openness and willingness to encourage and implement feedback in our community. By asking the women in our community for feedback on ways that we can do better when it comes to being actually inclusive, we are able to improve, grow and continue creating an open, welcoming, and inclusive environment!

When was the last time you asked for feedback on your business? Did you look for opportunities to foster more inclusive practices?

 

 

Use Every Platform Available to You:

Diversity in the platforms that you use to promote, share, and engage with your community will give you a much greater opportunity to include new voices, stories, and perspectives in the business and legacy that you’re building. Often you’ll find that while there is some cross over in platform audience, usually you’re speaking to unique audiences. Those unique audiences automatically create new opportunities for fostering inclusivity.

To be inclusive women in business need to actively seek out platform diversity. This may mean anything from using YouTube or Tiktok for video content, to attending women’s conferences or women in business events.

It also often means making the commitment to purposefully engage with women who are not like yourself, who have different experiences, and who you might not normally cross paths with.

 

 

Inclusivity is something we should all be actively practicing on a regular basis. Some people might say that inclusivity means treating everyone the same, but it goes beyond this and includes creating an environment of openness and equality where every voice has space to contribute without judgment or fear. As entrepreneurs and women in business, we have so much more to offer than just our products or services — we bring different perspectives and insights into life experiences which can enrich any business venture.

Now it’s your turn to weigh on on this conversation. What ways do you foster inclusivity within your own business?

How to grow your business by building an online community

How to grow your business by building an online community

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Article written by Bound Media

Having loyal customers is one of every business’ main goals, and of course is a very important one, but better than that is building a community. Having advocates that will be loyal to your business is ideal and even though it can seem hard to achieve at the beginning, in this article we will give you a few tips that will help you get there.

 

What an online community is like

Making the difference radicates in the fact that your advocates will find extra value in your products and services, even if they have to pay more than with the competition. They will likely interact with other members of your community, and talk to their friends and people they know about your business.

Word of mouth can be both a blessing and a curse, but if you succeed at building a strong and advocate community, it will become of great help because there is no better publicity than your own satisfied customers sharing their positive experiences.

Like every online process, it takes time and effort, but we can assure you that everything will be worth it. Here are some things you can do to help build your online community:

Sharing your customer’s experience

On both your social media channels and your website, encouraging your clients to share their positive experiences with your products or services is a very effective way to start building your online community. This strategy helps to show your clients that you value their opinions and, at the same time, they end up selling your service for you.

Generate discussion

Providing a space where your community can interact is ideal. People with different points of view can exchange opinions and start building a relationship not only with you, but with each other. These discussions can happen on your online forum, on your social media posts, or you can even use Facebook Groups for such interactions.

 

Keep it LIVE on social media

If you have a blog or a forum, or if you use Facebook Groups to generate discussion, that is perfectly fine, but social media channels are also ideal to diversify your community’s discussions. Encourage your users to comment on your posts, use hashtags to create conversations on Twitter, use a question box on Instagram Stories for your users to ask you questions about your business.

Going on a live streaming is always a good option, you can invite your community to ask questions before the broadcast or during and have a good live interaction. If you don’t feel so comfortable going on a live streaming, you can collect your users’ questions and record short videos answering them.

Listen to what your community has to say

You can get a lot of insight on how to develop your business based on how your customers perceive it. You can always ask them how you could improve your operation, what things you could do differently, and what good things you should maintain over time.

Your community can help you make important decisions based on their experience and relationship with your brand. Even if you are not asking specific questions, keep an eye out for the discussions happening on all of your online channels. Remember that your community is built with the people most engaged with your brand.

Summing up

Building a strong and advocate online community is a time and effort long-term process, but pays off in the end. Generating loyalty within your customers will automatically make them stay longer and bring new people in, it’s the best investment you can do in your business

 

A Guide to Managing Encounters with Gender Bias

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Written by Susan Clark Muntean, Ph.D.

As successful, ambitious women who deserve the utmost respect and support, how do we best handle disrespectful encounters in the business and professional world? 

As a researcher who has interviewed hundreds of female entrepreneurs, I have found subtle and not so subtle forms of discrimination, bias, and disrespect to be all too common. Frequently this falls into the category of microaggressions, defined as everyday slights, insults, other subtle forms of disrespect or dismissal that the perpetrator may not even be conscious is offensive or hurtful.  Women express their experiences when seeking resources for their businesses with decision makers and gatekeepers, for example, as feeling condescended to, second-guessed, ignored, belittled, or unduly questioned.

Image of couple holding hands in the distance. Text reads "A Guide to Managing Encounters with Gender Bias"

Women are too often dismissed as less intelligent and less competent relative to their male counterparts, and this is more frequent the higher they climb up their career ladders. Further, women with intersecting socio-demographic characteristics related to age, race, nationality, ethnicity, or disability are more likely to experience invisibility. Being mistreated as if you do not exist or matter is one of the worst affronts a human being can experience.  Too often women respond by questioning their own sanity or denying that they are experiencing what they are indeed experiencing.

Other times, we experience death by a thousand cuts, and simply give up or blow up, losing our cool with “the last straw” experience.  But there are much better options available to navigate through this challenging and common phenomenon. 

When feeling the experience if invisibility or anticipating that you may not be fully seen, it is useful to provide yourself with affirmations of your existence, essence, sovereignty, and sacredness in the moment or in advance of the interaction.  When experiencing dismissiveness and condescension, it is essential to communicate calmly and clearly your worth and value.  When experiencing second guessing and inappropriate behavior, it is critical to hold the mirror up to the one questioning your ability, expertise, and worthiness of support.  In these situations, I recommend strategies based upon the concepts of advocacy and inquiry. 

Self-advocacy involves representing yourself confidently in the most positive light possible. The advocacy of others involves you seeking out and receiving the advocacy of respected insiders who work on your behalf to showcase your potential and ability.  Seek out mentors that will introduce you by singing your praises in advance to gatekeepers and decision makers such as investors, potential clients or customers, and resource providers.   Pay it forward and advocate for other women and people who often experience microaggressions and discrimination.

Make advocacy a daily habit, for yourself and others.

When someone asks you something offensive, does something inappropriate, or says something hurtful, start asking questions.  Inquiry is a powerful tool that transforms the power relationship from one in which the person making the comment, taking the action, or asking the question as the offender holding the upper hand transitions to you taking your power back.  The next time you encounter this behavior, ask the person why they asked you that, why they did that, or why they said that.  You might phrase your response “That’s interesting, why would you ask me that?”, for example, if being second-guessed or inappropriately questioned. 

What this approach does is to buy you time to collect your emotional and physical responses while allowing the offender time and space to reflect upon why they indeed asked the question or made the comment in the first place.  This is a judo communication strategy that temporarily holds negative energy–even if not intended to harm you— and thrusts it back on them to defend themselves, while holding you safely in a bubble of self-protection and self-respect. 

Most decent people when asked why they said, did or asked something will immediately retract and apologize for offending you.  However, if there is ill intent, the person might continue down a rabbit hole of justifications for their position, line of questioning, or what they did in a defensive move to win power over you. If this happens, the person will just reveal to those around them their problematic assumptions, attitudes, and beliefs, and then it becomes about them and not you, as it really is about them in the first place. 

Either way, what inquiry does is put a mirror up for the ignorance or negativity to be reflected at the one who dealt the card, and not the recipient. Protect your dignity, self-respect, and emotional and psychological health from these painful encounters in the future by incorporating the tools of advocacy and inquiry and we will all be stronger warriors, together. 

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