Let Change be as Big as the Rain
Article written by Rachael Amarante
I’ve always been a lover of the rain.
When I was a kid, going to school on a rainy day was my favorite. Through college, and life as a young mother, I continuously found space and breath in the magic of the rain. The rain speaks to us differently than the beating sun or the icy wind. It provides us a reason to slow down and reminds us that we are not in control. The universe has more important plans than our own. There’s no use in complaining about it. We can either run around in it, or we can cringe, put up an umbrella and try to dodge it.
We can never actually avoid the rain, just as we cannot avoid constant change in our lives. Each day our lives give us the opportunity to enjoy the rain; to embrace and welcome it, noticing the places where we need more stillness.
When our lives are filled with planning, building, and doing, it’s not easy to allow our course to change. We want to be in control of our world and of the plan. For me, that control used to give me a false sense of peace. Externally it allowed me to put on a face of knowing and confidence.
It became my shield. It’s the only way I knew how to love. If I could “power through” and try to circumvent the change, then I would avoid disaster and keep everyone safe. But of course, change would come, and I’d be forced to surrender. And on the rainy days, I allow myself to move slower, listen better, and find meaning in the change.
The rain has a unique power that gives us a reason to say no to the things that drain our energy. That’s why they call it a raincheck. It’s raining, and while I’m supposed to be hauling ass all day – on a run, on errands, in meetings – the rain swoops in and realigns us with a new kind of energy. The world feels cloudy and a deep sense of purpose sets in.
Through this change, we become better leaders, more peaceful mothers, the energy from that change creates a new structure in our lives that we had no control over. We are forced to stop and find a new, intentional way of being. A way that allows us to choose what we give our energy to and allows us the grace to say no. Not because we’re choosing to slow down our path to the goals we set, but because the rain gives us a chance to breathe instead of hurry. The rain is there to guide us; to teach us something.
Nature has a great power over all of us. Earthquakes, hurricanes, and drought are monumental forces that change the course of the lives they touch. They are also always deemed as forces of mass destruction. Situations in our lives and relationships can be considered the same. Catastrophic change that we are unprepared for usually leaves us uncertain, devastated and alone.
I talk a lot about “wintering” – you can find more here – and its importance in our lives after we experience loss. I first heard this term from the incredible book by Katherine May called, Wintering. The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. I try to remember that when we allow ourselves to winter, we are providing our souls a space for change. A change that is needed for our course through life. If nothing else, it provides us a new perspective.
Magic can only happen when we move alongside the changes in our lives. We must learn how to breathe in the rain. It’s hard. I hate change. I hate when I set a goal, make a plan and life throws whatever it can at me to prove its point. But then something happens. If we stop and listen carefully enough, we learn what our lives need from us. Are we meant to make tweaks to the plan, or are we meant to shift course completely? That’s why it rains.
We have all the wisdom inside ourselves to pivot our plans, shift our energies and rethink the strategy. We just have to allow space for it to rain and let go of the control. This works in business, marriage and in motherhood. As women, we have the power, like the rain, to change the energy of those around us.
It’s not easy to learn. It sucks. And every time the rain falls, and I pivot yet again, I cringe a little first – I’m still learning. But then I say these words, “You are where you are meant to be in this moment. Surrender and learn.”
And then I do.
How I learned (am still learning) to embrace change and be as big as the rain:
- Take a step back. Whether you feel change coming or it slaps you in the face, take a step back and listen. Listen for the clues in your life, in the nature around you and in your energy to decide how to move forward. Sometimes that will mean powering through and hustling. Other times will mean surrendering and pivoting the plan you had.
- Don’t make decisions when things are really good or really bad. Bad things are going to happen, so are really amazing things. I’ve learned that the best time to make big decisions is when you feel at a neutral state – otherwise we are making decisions either based on fear or exhilaration. Unless you’re planning a vacation, do that at any time.
- Find a consistent, positive practice in your life that you can fall back to no matter what kind of change is happening. For me, it’s exercise. Running, walking, lifting, anything. No matter what is happening in my life, exercising is what’s remains stable for me. Other ideas are praying, meditating, or writing. Just make sure that the practice comes from within. It shouldn’t cost money or rely on others to achieve it.
So go ahead, rain on my parade. I welcome you with open arms.
Hi. I’m Rachael; a mother of four young boys and the creator of The Awakening Motherhood Project. I share simple, actionable ways to find joy and confidence in the chaos of our lives- recipes, tips, and ways to conquer the hard stuff in motherhood. Our behaviors and relationships with ourselves, our food and our communities mold the way our children view the world. It is not meant to be daunting, or another pressure added to our plates. It is a powerful privilege to create the future. We can do that together.