Sex and Sexual Awakening
Article written by Pauline Ryeland
Sex is an energy and it’s our life force. Sexual Awakening is about wakening up our sexual energy and get it moving though our body. This is different to friction based sex, which we’re already experiencing.
What does Sex and Sexual Awakening actually mean?
Just for a moment, take some time to think about how you have sex.
- How do you experience it?
- What goes on in your body?
- What feelings and emotions do you feel?
- What thoughts are occurring for you whilst you’re in the middle of it?
- Where is your focus?
That’s quite a bit to think about isn’t it?
Imagine what it would be like to awaken yourself, to be able to experience sex at a level that is beyond your comprehension. Opening yourself to fully engage with your sexuality so that you can reach the sexual potential that is your birth right as a human being.
Would you be willing to do that?
Most people when they are having sex are not connected, grounded or present with themselves let alone their partner. This is a recipe for massive disconnection which then restricts how you and your body engages and responds during a sexual experience.
Connection is key
The reason we check out during sex is varied and is not something we are often conscious of. It can be as simple as a habit; you’re experiencing an orgasm, so you shut your eyes & go off somewhere into the cosmos. There is nothing wrong with doing this, however when your eyes are closed you disconnect from self and your partner.
So just open your eyes occasionally, look at your partner, breath and moan together, connect. It can also come from lack of self-worth and self-esteem. Maybe there is unresolved sexual trauma and you check out because you don’t feel safe in your body, even though you feel safe with your partner. Alcohol and drugs, whether prescription or ones you perhaps party with, will also have you disconnect.
Also on a sub-conscious level we put limits on our sexual pleasure, crazy I know!
A woman may think, “oh finally I had my orgasm,” so they just stop. A man believes he’s done because he’s ejaculated and stops. What would happen if they stayed in the space of receiving, in the space of pleasure?
We are in our heads so much and sometimes we’re not even in our busy heads, we are off in space somewhere. We wonder what we look like and can become self-consciousness about that.
I mean seriously, orgasm face, contorting with pleasure can look like quite out there, yet you need to let go of that and be in the joy and pleasure of it all. Maybe a woman doesn’t like going on top because as she bounces around having a good time, so is the rest of her body which makes her feel self-conscious, so she’ll disconnect from herself.
The reality of it is the person underneath you doesn’t care, they are loving it. Guys on a sub-conscious level are wondering if they are good enough, man enough, if their penis is big enough, can they get the woman to orgasm…it’s like a mission and we end up with a whole lot of “to do lists” of got to do this, before we can do that and so it’s like this eternal search for more.
So, while all this is going on we disengage, disconnect
We also disconnect from our sexual experience if we watch too much porn. When we engage with porn on a consistent basis we are externalizing, which disconnects us from ourselves. There are ways to utilize porn in your sexual play where you can stay connected to yourself.
We not only disconnect from our bodies, we also create a massive disconnection from our hearts and genitals, it’s almost like they come from 2 different locations
So how does this disconnection affect us?
What it does is keeps us in our heads, which doesn’t allow the natural sexual energy to flow.
Sex has become a goal orientated and action driven experience and everyone wants a bigger, better, more potent sexual experience than the last time. So this is where us Women in Leadership, need to loosen the reigns, connect into our feminine flow and surrender to what is.
If we looked at a graph for sex, at one end would be Joy and Bliss and at the other end there would be excitement. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, however there is a lot of pleasure being missed out on in between because we are all busy in our heads, consciously or sub-consciously going through our check lists.
As a society we are always chasing more and in sex it’s no different. Sex is an energy and when we learn how to manipulate the energy, we can take our erotic pleasure beyond anything we can even imagine!
Another key – Breath!
Not just every day breathing, using specific breath to activate the auto-nommic nervous system. Fast breathing activates the sympathetic part of the system and long slow deep breaths activates the para-sympathetic part of the nervous system.
When we add this in, it helps awaken the sexual energy and gets it moving through out bodies. Plus a lot of people hold their breath when they orgasm. If you breathe fully and deeply through the orgasm instead of holding your breath, then the sexual energy has room to continue moving and playing, which will light up your body even more.
Finally – The Pelvic Floor
As Women in Business and Women in Leadership, I am sure you all know about the pelvic floor muscles and how important they are in general. However, when you add that to the mix when doing the breathwork, it opens up a whole other world which really starts moving the sexual energy through the body more.
When you can experience that, you can become more awake in your body and tap into being an even more totally empowered multi-orgasmic woman.
And we all want more of that, right? RIGHT!!