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Tech for Good

Tech for Good

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What happens when the wild wild west of the internet & its brain child the World Wide Web is bought back by women?? And not just **any women, specifically women who don’t look like the women who have traditionally climbed the ranks in big tech companies or owned large swaths of land.

**We’ve got to remember that previous generations of feminists have often left out large groups of women to be included to live our best lives. I’m here as a humanist who wants to see ALL women thrive. In setting up women for success, we set up our families, communities and cities to also thrive. So let’s talk about building the next version of the web and maybe even turning the internet inside out.

What if the internet we were sold in the 1990’s by the likes of Steve Jobs & Bill Gates actually worked like the info center contributed to by human brains that Buckminster Fuller intended.* Both Jobs and Gates mirrored much of their work off of ol’ Bucky’s theories and practices. Let’s not forget to mention the women who were key in building the .com directories as we have come to rely on daily:Ada Lovelace wrote the first algorithms. Radia Pearlman was fundamental to the evolution of technology called ethernet. And of course, Grace Hopper who worked on the very first computer built, Mark 1 and coined the term ‘bug.’ #truestory

But first, tech for bad?

Notably, the first version of the internet’s usage ‘Web 1’ was piloted by the United States military. Knowing that information, it is not surprising that our current model of Web 2 is still patriarchal in form and thus very, very extractive. Its aim is not to leave you with the warm fuzzies. Trigger Warning: It’s to divide & conquer, it is to search & destroy and maybe even rape & pillage.

We are often asked to give our ‘consent’ by checking little boxes with even smaller print. But what are we even consenting to and what are we getting for that exchange? Hmmmm…not quite a balanced exchange if we need to purchase our data back from the likes of Equifax, Transunion, etc. etc. But what about Web 3? How can that look different?

We can begin to think of that original book of work Bucky Fuller handwritten with the intention of somehow freely sharing knowledge and experience through technology; after all he was both a futurist and someone who gave a damn about more than his plot in life. He saw the advances of tech as the best way to help humans ALL have better lives. Bucky did not know how but knew it would happen. He was building for and during the inevitable evolution of technology; just as I suggest we as women begin to do yesterday.

TBH, I feel similarly about how we can harness the good intentions of the World Wide Web and shift from the certain goal of bottom line profit and data extraction. 

The initial perks sold to the common human in using the internet and its channels were sold in a far different package than what we are currently consuming. What was to be the free usage and sharing of information is more like a non stop infomercial we are all paying to both produce and purchase from.

The whole thing needs a revamp and I’m here to keep saying WHY even as we discover the HOW!

The Digital Revolution is being televised

I suggest a full system upgrade. Going back to our daydream of woman – ALL women having access to the information and the application of that knowledge into our daily lives, we can begin to ensure all of humanity will experience true equity in ways that the current use of the internet simply does not provide. You’ve maybe heard, ‘When Mama’s happy, everyone’s happy!’, maybe tech companies and their supporters might well consider this adage as we expand and contract our work forces and their missions.

By centering women’s needs, we will see ALL flourish.

The US military launched Web 1 and the tech bros brought us Web 2. How about getting some lady insight into how Web 3 will be built ?? Excuse me please, bitcoin bros !! Ladies coming through !!

My re-vision includes digital resources to be easily accessed by ALL- let’s be clear: I do not want to turn a boy’s club, which is currently big tech, into a girl’s club. Simply putting pink on the patriarchy will not work. What I do want to do is reimagine how we structure, contribute to and break down barriers into more collaborative technology.

We need to first ensure access via reliable & secure signals so anyone who wishes to connect can. And then once inside the Net, we have to deliver what has been promised: useful & safe avenues on which to travel where we can share these direct links to information on Money, Sex & Politics.

You can picture a market place much like an Amazon, but instead of showing what you need to purchase in stuff aka consumables, the human programmed algorithms show you the tools & resources based around equity of knowledge & information. Ensuring access is key so varying points of entry for all the reasons accessibility need be considered is paramount: from price point to how information is telecast or shared.

In this new version of the Web, it’s third now for humankind, leaders teaching about anatomy and sex education are not tagged as pornographers, charging them to come up with code words about parts of the human body all of the earth’s people have!! Did you know that the word ‘Segg’ is code for Sex on the Web 2 because certain Puritanical bots are trolling the otherwise ‘safe’ internet streets to keep Segg educationalists from spreading Anatomy 101 like wildfire !

This incarnation of tech as good will be where women leading other women are not seen as people of suspicion and have their social media accounts suspended. And on my Web 3 cloud 9, we will be hosting curious conversations and riveting discussions that help us move the needle towards equity for ALL without trolls, dick pics and the variety of **other** unsavory experiences that many of us 49.74% of the world’s humans who call ourselves women have experienced.

Tech for Good

 

I am here to burst the Patriarchal Puritan Bubble that Web 2 thinks it needs to moderate and appropriate whilst pulling all the data it wants in the meantime. It’s a bit of a two-faced business model, don’t you think? Perhaps the time spent chasing down Humanist policy women leaders & Drag Queens could be spent building better access points to wi-fi for low income areas across the World Wide Web’s reach. The move to building safer & truly vetted technology based on the needs of our current & living population can and should be prioritized.

Currently, finding financial resources for education or business expansion often includes hours, months or years of research. During that time digging for gold, patterns are tracked and marketing information garnered. As an example, I write for loads of grants.

I have been researching these for years aside from so many advertisements for MBAs, PhD programs and cohorts filling my feeds, the most viable hub I’ve found on my own volition and without the bots pointing me in the right direction for this is a Google doc shared between thousands of women. (DM me on the Backstage Pass for this doc!) WE CAN DO BETTER!!

A new way to access information safely has yet to be launched but it’s being tested and tried, this time by futurists outside of the military and by women who want coding credits this time! This kind of inentional access would help women access more financial resources to live our best lives, be it for business expansion or educational pursuits. Naturally, increased wealth for women always increases the quality of life for our families, our communities and our cities in which we live. Again, WIN WIN!

What if this future access to technology also allowed us safe spaces to share education & resources around sexuality, anatomy, reproduction and health care options so that no woman ever went without the knowledge of how to care for her body and where she might acquire that care? Access to healthcare is a human right and the information directing us to it is integral! You may have seen sites like #metoo’s Survivor Sanctuary or She Should Run as good Web 2 spaces to build from. These are tremendous resources and beautiful foundations which we can expand upon. In the next version of the web I’m imagining, we must prioritize places like this AND ensure their safety as well as accessibility. We need less **cookies ( more on cookies later) and more generative info shared than extractive. Current modes of internet use seem to require this extractive model.

And what if we were so bold as to call of this ideation political; what if we even ran for office en mass, or even better yet, utilized our collective purchasing power of 83% in the US alone and our nearly 1.7 trillion US dollars we contribute to the American economy on average through our 11.6 million women owned companies. Not only do women make up 52% of the US population, we make up 47.7% of the global workforce.

If we took even just 1% of this energy in numbers and directed it to build Web 3 with women’s wealth, health and leadership in mind, we’d not only see a new way of using tech but also an increased quality of life.

Tech for Good

 

What the Tech ??

Ok, maybe you don’t want to build tech. Heck, maybe you don’t even like using it very much. And maybe that’s because it wasn’t really designed for you to like it. Afterall, both the military and bro culture doesn’t usually build for comfort or inclusivity.

Let’s again suspend disbelief for a few more moments and possibly consider that even your use of tech could be adjusted just slightly today to actually be “good” and “ rewarding”, maybe even generative!

Think about it: you could walk into an area on the web, inside the internet general store of the future and get only what you came for and leave considerably more connected to resources, inspired and very equipped with the tools you went searching for in the first place. Not sure what I mean, come Backstage and see what I’m talking about !!

Considering that our brains’ firing synapses and pathway processing is very similar to computers and thereby what the internet is emulated after – they are human powered afterall.

There is some value in comparing the brain to both the internet and the World Wide Web. But let’s also clarify between the two: The internet is hundreds of millions of computers- like smart phones, desktops, car dashboards, washing machine operating systems, basically any automated devices that connect that information to another via the internet.

The World Wide Web is hundreds of millions of websites or addresses inside the internet, many which contain links to other pages on that site or other sites all together.

If the internet is the airport, the World Wide Web is the moving walkway between gates and the gates are individual websites, IP addresses, etc. etc.

It’s a lot but it’s also a lot made BY HUMANS. And I’d like more WOMEN humans to be involved in how it works because I promise we gals will also ensure it works well for EVERYone. OK? OK! Because let’s be honest, whether or not we are involved in these system ‘updates’, they will continue to evolve with or without our input.

Let’s Do Tech For Good Instead!

TDLR: We tell new stories, we write new code and we weave together better connective threads that do not divide but instead stitch us closer together.

E X P A N D E D
We no longer accept that the only people fit for expansion of ideas and integration into our cultures are white men. We write ourselves – ALL WOMEN – into the story.

We are no longer just interested in shattering glass ceilings by way of climbing some bull shit ladder. We are breaking down door ways, telling gate keepers to keep moving and establishing our new roots in a digital world to be grounded strongly in the human experience, not just the bottom line. We can absolutely build tech for good and with the outcome of a generative product instead of a simply extractive one.

We collaborate with other women who have this same mission, albeit different copy, and write these new stories into the DNA of technology. That’s all that code really is: Storylines, scripts and maps! It is a series of prompts aka stories that are told to systems to replicate, expand upon or automate; those prompts are written by humans. Let us create these prompts to code for our colorful, varied and non monolithic human experience.

When we ask AI to find an image of people on a beach, we need AI to know that ‘people on a beach’ means more than white men on a beach. #truestory

We elevate each other’s mission by weaving together our various stories that tie to the same mission via that World Wide Web we discussed above. Think of of it as a massive SEO ( search engine optimization) that takes critical mass in cross connecting programs like Berhenda Williams in Detroit. B is leading the Power of Girlhood by serving young Black & Brown women whom she connects to in circles like that which Gina Bianchini is building. As founder of Mighty Networks, Gina & her team decentralize the power of community from its badly behaving Uncles of Facebook, Twitter and the like.

What I am building with LBI Digital on those Mighty networks connects with women worldwide to give us a global hub to operate from and stay directly connected to other thought leaders pushing the envelope like to Shira Yevin’s project that rocks! Gritty in Pink is led by women who are changing the face of live music & booking more female talent across stages worldwide. Those threads directly connect to Maxine Cunningham’s project based in British Columbia, Canada accessing brains world wide: Pick My Brain. Max and her amazing team are making the human brain our number 1 global export to be commoditized and get this: we each get to own our own content because it’s our own ideas, IP and brainpower!

We can cruise down freshly upgraded Web 3 streets to Gigi Diaz’s network of badasses inspiring women to live on their own terms and chat up Nicole Cacal in advocating for more financial inclusion practices! These ladybosses are all actively using the rails of Web 2 to build something that can be and will be next level powerful and generative in Web 3.

We inspire the global use of the World Wide Web in its next version to be inclusive, to be supportive and ultimately generative instead of extractive. As a cute little test, next time you stroll the internet streets, notice how many times you are asked to accept cookies. Also, WTF are cookies anyways?

I don’t know about you but my Granny told me to never take candy from strangers. Every time I go to a new website aka an internet stranger’s house, they wanna give me cookies! Or take my cookies ? Or wtf is even happening?

I will tell you that cookies are the cute af internet 2.0 way of saying:‘Hiiiii we are taking your info and might sell it back to you or someone else later. K bye!’ Now, as in the bakery, not all cookies are created equal. Some are deliciously helpful and some are just plain rude, dry and grabby af to be used solely for marketing. #themoreyouknow

ICYMI

We are currently active users of Web 2.0 , that is essentially the second incarnation of the internet map. In Web 3.0 we have the opportunity to build it better.

But we don’t need to throw the baby out with the bathwater, I promise. Also, WTF did this statement even come from!?! Oh, interesting. Original abolitionists suggested fixing broken systems by not harming those suffering from them. Great idea, Wiki quoted gents!! It is as always a good to stay curious and keep learning about the old stories we haven’t been told as we write new ones of equity and inclusion. 

If you are at all curious about staying informed on the build of our shared future and how technology will direct it, I invite you #ComeBackstage and meet other thought leaders, industry disruptors and business activists.

We host a free monthly meetup via our bizz bestie Maxine’s PMB site.
Next event July 27 at 430pm PST/ 730pm EST

We talk (& activate) with women leaders world wide on the LBI Podcast: Money Sex & Politics. See two just dropped ya’ll! Get your listen on!!

OTHER WAYS WE ARE BUILDING

We connect with our reading & writing bosses here on the Boss Blog. We do social media differently as we pull back the curtain on how we do business and flip the script on how we share our tools and resources on the Backstage Pass.

Oh and one more thing, a note about WHY I am doing this and without dropping any guilt, why I think you might want to, too! My why is because I give a damn. I am actively interested in growing business, brands and stories that move the needle forward in actively building a better world. Current conditions point to less than favorable for most AND we can do better ya’ll. #Techforgood is the answer!

I have built 3 of my own brands/ businesses and consulted on many, many others.

I enjoy story telling ALOT and since that’s pretty much my job, I can also smell a fake. And the story we have been sold that there is only one way to do something or that there are limited resources so we should compete for them: I call TOTAL BULLSHIT aka misinformation, in simple terms NOT TRUE.

For those of us with more resources to share, it is our job to bust open the door to the BS scarcity story and hold it open for more folks to genuinely and inclusively expand access to ALL information that helps build a more equitable world. And since I cannot save all the wales on my own, I’m hoping you might want to join my Orca Band! LOL, But tbh, I am not really kidding! I’m with the Orcas and the natural order of ecosystems to be supportive, generative and abundant. This fake news of scarcity only fuels toxic capitalism and I for one am 100% over that shit. HBU?

Let’s GLOW UP the internet in Web 3.0 shall we? See you on July 27th to talk Tech for Good, our first topic is using blogs better! and find us always Backstage!

Community Nourishment: Growing An Online Space That Thrives

Community Nourishment: Growing An Online Space That Thrives

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In case you missed it (because you truly don’t want to miss it,) Rose Kaz wrote this week about the origins of the LBI Backstage Pass, what motivated her to grow this community and the dream she has for its cultivation.

Just like a garden, cultivating a community requires patience, dedication, and a love for growth.

Both require a delicate balance of providing the right conditions for growth, nurturing development, and pruning and removing obstacles.

In the short time I have been with LBI, I have dazzled by the colors of this garden.

Here is what Backstage pass member, singer, songwriter and producer Bridget Lyons has to say about her experience on the LBI platform:

Being able to create together in a community, and tell our stories, and be heard and support one another has been wonderful to be a part of. It’s been inspiring and mesmerizing at times.

Listen to Bridget’s full testimonial:

gowingathrivingspace1

I keep coming back to this image of of a garden and of the gardener, tools in hand, dream in heart, sitting down with a blank page and drawing out the garden plan.

She must take into account the growing conditions, what type of plant is likely to flourish, what type would need extra care. She creates a design both pleasing to the eye and in harmony with the landscape.

She chooses a variety of flora and fauna 

In different shapes, colors, heights.

Maybe she plans an herb garden where she will grow plants to harvest for her healing kitchen, or a cutting garden of bright blooms to make bouquets.

Maybe she will plant with the intention of attracting butterflies or hummingbirds or restoring native growth, bringing balance.

Soul Coach for transformational women leaders, Ber-Henda Williams says:

What sticks out the most to me about this particular platform is that in many cases when we have female identified or female-centric programming, it’s usually focused on patriarchy. In particular, white feminism has caused a detriment and harm to communities of color because it is singular focused. What I have found in being a part of Rose’s community is this it is intersectional in all the ways. It’s not only inclusive, but it is welcoming. It does not tokenize, but takes into consideration the entirety of the feminine experience.

Listen to Ber-Henda’s full testimonial:

growing a thriving space

After the dreaming and planning is done, the work begins – the work of tending the soil and planting seeds – watering, but not too much, shielding tender roots from the frost, pulling way the dead leaves.

As someone who loves a beautiful garden but really has to work at having a green thumb, I can say, growing a lush abundant garden is difficult but deeply rewarding work.

And that is how we grow a community.

Clare Ramírez, the Boxing Yogini, says:

The Backstage Pass connects me with a like-minded group of women in a world and land that can feel very lonely. Just trying to provide for yourself as a woman, and provide life and health for your business, can become a lonely space. It can become an anxiety ridden space, and it can become a vulnerable space. To be inspired by other women has really been useful, plus it’s a joy to work and speak and listen to women on their paths.

Listen to Clare’s full testimonial:

Copy of Copy of Square Blog Images

Growing a thriving online community means:

Planting the seeds. Just as in a garden, you carefully choose the right seeds for your climate and soil, a community requires the right mix of people to be the foundation. This can be a core group of people who share similar interests and values, and it can been a variety of different people who share a common goal or understanding, or who are open to sharing that understanding, but it is people who set the tone for the community.

Providing the right conditions. Just as a garden needs the right amount of sunlight, water, and nutrients to thrive, a community needs the right tools, resources, and communication channels to facilitate growth and engagement.

Nurturing growth. A gardener must continuously water, fertilize, and tend to their plants to ensure they grow healthy and strong. In a community, you must continually foster engagement, provide support and resources, and encourage members to participate and contribute.

Pruning and removing obstacles: In a garden, removing dead leaves and branches helps direct the plant’s energy towards growth. In a community, removing negativity, toxicity, and obstacles helps maintain a positive and productive environment for growth.

Celebrating milestones and victories: A gardener takes pride in watching her plants bloom, and in a community, it’s important to celebrate milestones, from a member’s first post to a community event.

Just like a garden, a community requires consistency and attention to flourish.

And by following this map, tending to this garden, you have helped this community grow into a thriving and vibrant space for members to connect and share.

This is what Therapeutic Image Consultant Marisol Colette says:

Of all the social media platforms, this is the one that has the most positive impact, because it’s about the sharing of valuable information around how to show up in the world as a better person with more support.

Listen to Marisol’s full testimonial:

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The LBI Backstage Pass is your community. Rose is the gardener, but so are you.

You are the gardeners and the seeds and the beautiful blooms.

In my part of the world, it is icy and cold. The sky is grey. But deep beneath the frozen ground there is a glowing ember of warmth. There is life. 

In a few short weeks, the first buds and signs of spring will arrive and if I am careful and consistent, I will cultivate the tiny piece of land outside my back door and create a sanctuary for the wild life, an environment where the flowers can flourish…where I can flourish.

Before I know what happened, it will be summer – lush and vibrant.

As Rose dreams into the lush and vibrant future of this community, she invites us to dream along with her, plant along with her, cultivate this space together, and grow.

Thank you for your presence in this process.

More About Lori-Lyn

More About Lori-Lyn

Website | Instagram 

Lori-Lyn Hurley is a writer and artist who wants her work to nourish the wild parts of you and inspire you to live creatively and be your true self in the world.

Click here to come Backstage, meet Lori-Lyn and the entire community of femme forward leaders. 

Money. Sex. Politics PodcastMoney. Sex. Politics Podcast
The social media antidote: real Community – with a capital C

The social media antidote: real Community – with a capital C

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Am I the only one that gets a bit of a rash from the mainstream way of doing social media? The chirping birds that once allowed a community of journalists to gather on a platform to squawk freely has degraded with the equally free speech of Trump-eters and Musketeers alike. Quick quips of less edited and more run ons seem to fuel an arbitrary fire of divisive rhetoric instead of an international call and response of reporting. Makes me itchy just thinking of it! How about you?

Facebook’s boat of town hall focus has long since sailed in consideration of a user first, Community centered model;  unless you want to sell your old Ray Bans or gently used couch. And now with it’s not so sly rebrand, Meta is no longer the digital hub to visit in simply searching for long lost cousins without getting tussled in a political crossfire. Or maybe you’ll  just have your movements tracked for what you may have clicked (baited) on, unsuspectedly. Let’s not get into the weeds about the actual WHY beyond Zuckerberg’s build of said social network but a simple survey on the ethics of the platform in the ten year span of 2010-2020 doesn’t  show FB was built to scale to make people feel good about ourselves and our shared humanity; aka Community! 

FB’s own takeover of the once ‘independent’ & ‘emerging’ social media channel,  Instagram, was notably created by a nice, New England guy who began his tech obsession playing warfare in simulation games like Doom. Kevin Systrom, who attended Stanford and would initially turn down Zuckerburg for gainful employment before developing IG (2010) for what he would  then quickly  sell for a cool $1 billion ( 2012) straight to his Ivy league peer, Mr. Mark Z.  Talk about a tech unicorn!!  As we all  know, Instagram (as does Meta) leads with its algorithmic shadows leaving users feeling more like it’s a high school popularity contest instead of an inspiring, visual landscape of creators {woof}! Are you scratching yourself yet?

Thesocialmediaantidote

Upgrades to Community building by way of  new social apps like the audio only Clubhouse, user monetized Fanbase and reportedly less ‘toxic’ micro blogging site Hive Social are taking their own moment to convince users to come along for a better, more curated experience, off of the quite literal ‘beaten path. {grrrrr} 

We humans are old dogs, and sadly, we don’t do new tricks well, it seems. 

Making new social habit is hard, generally, and then the specifics of switching patterns from shitty, addictive behavior is something of (wo)mans’ existential kinks of our earthly existence. 

But what of TikTok, you may say. It’s so fun, you may bark!  The Chinese owned, facial recognition software, in its American version, is made quite differently than its own, homegrown type where the Great Wall-ed Community audience consumes an intentionally more educational set of media; much more PG rated than its US ‘content creators’; think PBS and not HBO. Oh and if you’d like to register yourself as a company or business on TikTok to have a proper pro account, please be sure you upload your EID number and supporting tax documents. Are you kidding me? They are not even trying to be low key, creepy. Just upload your social and we will get your media out expeditiously. {Please pass the salve, I’m beyond irritated. }

With all those pitfalls to what a Community network really may need to flourish, it’s really surprising to me why we keep swiping for more!  Not shocking however, are my notes from over two years of interviewing & studying women, ages 22-48 on our shared social media experiences and behaviors. I have heard so many people, particularly countless women in business and loads of established, well-known thought leaders saying that social media just makes us… sad?! We are many times left feeling less than social, even suicidal. This is not exactly conducive to fostering a Community! When I actually take a closer look into my own social media consumption, even if I use it to study and also promote this antidote I am creating, I am typically left feeling like absolute shit. 

{whimper and growl!}

During those last few years of research, I have also been conceiving and building the panacea for this scratchy mess of bad behaviors in tech. In creating this new model as a digital hub and corralling new users there instead of other, extractive channels, many women have confided in me that they would rather not show up at all to seemingly prove themselves on the current version of a social media like FB, IG, sometimes even LinkedIn- the more ‘professional’ space amongst the network camps! 

With all the ‘other’ extractive, toxic and alienating garbage that is the main stream, it’s no surprise that even those of us #livingourbestlives still feels like a shadow of ourselves after we put the phone down.  

In fact, many of our new users on The Backstage Pass have mentioned they’d rather just lean directly into a trusted Community instead. Internet users far and wide, particularly busy women, would rather go straight to the source when they need  support from Community. They’ve also told me that the space we are building Backstage is expressly different and participation there actually makes them feel good, seen and valued. Wooooa! Community with a capital C is reborn, meow!!!  Phoning a friend to ask her direction as to how to find the best resources on funding for a project or educational endeavor, where to find safe, reproductive resources or healthcare answers she can trust, or even where and how to get politically inspired??  Spoiler alert, that friend is often me and I know there are more amazing connectors like me to add to this generative model.  And so I want to know, why do we keep doom scrolling when we can easily be bloom scrolling ??  { see what I did there?}

Maybe it’s because the way social media is rigged currently is not real; one could argue it’s a bit surreal. It seems to serve as a weird hologram of what is sorta, kinda real with a filter and cute edit.  And maybe we like that, for a minute or two, because we are so flawed, pimpled, puffy eyed and truly exhausted by the reality of life. Perhaps we like to make it look like that A role, hologram is real. And maybe, once we’ve had 5-10 minutes ( or in my recent, covid holiday case, 498 minutes in one day of screen time), we suddenly are not as happy with such a photomicrograph of our shared existence aka Community as the channels suggest.  Instead users leave feeling like a mer shell of the hologram our filter told us we are; taking us away , one at a time, from actually being connected to the Community that we so eagerly desire by way of small bread crumbs of the ‘likes’ to our lustrous posts. Ah the dopamine!! { howwwwl!}

Maybe it’s because social media is mildly unconscious at this point.

It’s now so aged that it may have forgotten about its job description to act as a social glue and to utilize the internet for all its good tributes of tech facia;  connecting human beings to both one another and to a bevy of information that the world wide web boasts. Somehow the (questionably) well intended mission jumped the tracks and put profit first and divided the Community which essentially creates the content that makes it. Or maybe that’s just the tea we have drunk, served cleverly to us as Community whilst the architects never had true connection in mind. 

I mentioned a handful of new social apps making small waves with new approaches, which is arguably great for a variety of reasons:  accessibility, profit sharing and less toxic amongst them. I really want to not only center how we can individually profit off of usage of our  content, our own data and ultimately people power that we consciously lead; I want us to also think about how we can access the currency of the Community not as extractive but as generative; a total reverse usage of the model that big tech has presented as the only way the internet can be won. I don’t want to break the internet, I just want to buy it back for its shared, collective powers of Community, with a capital C. 

antidotetoscoialmedia3

The advent of modern day religion, albeit centuries ago, called humans to gather under one roof, in our various sects, together. Then, the $8 latte heralded by Starbucks underscored the opportunity to charge for that which tithes and offerings fell short of; perhaps a shortbread cookie instead of a dry wafer as you say hello to all your neighbors on the way to catch the train!  And now the “free access” to social networks that promise to connect as they openly make  major profits  from your personal preferences and data in exchange for your direct access to the Community you know that you want, or maybe you don’t know but it is arguably instinctual.

What if that value of Community was reverted?

What if that belonging that we all inherently seek because we are intrinsically herd animals ( sorry but we are) what if the value of your life lived wasn’t an accumulation for personal gain?  But the value we all carried was by how each of us are able to give support to our Community, and not just your inner circle, your local tribe but the larger Community of Humanity. 

This would require us, as humans, to see personal gains ( money and the gathering of wealth) to be far more than just piles of stuff. We’d have to refuse to allow how much or how frequently we consume to be an indication of success and the worth of the person. THIS is the antidote to separateness; a true salve to current day social media’s hologram of selfish, greed, jealous inducing and ignorant (sad) bliss. Big tech’s extractive nature has not only made pretend versions of ‘networks’ centering the most human thing, Community, but also made us all a bit melancholy in heading to the proverbial town square for our $8 latte blessing and data collection of facial recognition software and other fun grabs for personal information.  

In a timely report, our own US Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy shares that we are in a pandemic of loneliness. With all these incredible uses of technology to connect us, we’ve never been so alone with over 60% of Americans struggling with loneliness and upwards of 75% of younger people in deep bouts of mental unwellness;  likely most common social media users.

But what if we didn’t need an ointment each time we used our handheld computers with power so great it can drive a car, adjust a thermostat or even make our morning toast!  What if we employed a bit of conscious economics to bring people together instead of dividing us in the typical, extractive capitalist models. Like I said,  I am not interested in breaking the internet but I would like to buy it back from the wild, wild west gents of tech delight ( looking at you Bill, Mark, Steve, Elon, Herman, Thomas, Charles and bevy of otherwise decisively progressive yet ultimately White Guys.) And let’s be clear, I don’t want to buy  back the internet  so I can be the Queen of the hill. No no! I’d like to be the god bless Robyn Hood of the internet:  redistributing the powers of access to tools & resources and flipping the script on how we do business.  

As a lifetime shit stirrer, now lovingly called an industry disruptor, I’ve been asking myself why we keep going back for more and where are the better ways? 

The simple breakdown of the words social + media would imply the goal to be to use media socially to take action, likely driving people to do something ….good, maybe even helpful to one another!  A fella woman in tech with veteran status far greater than mine, Gina Bianchini, has taken her love of Community with a capital C onto build and form a very powerful antidote indeed, a hub of hubs:  Mighty Networks. She & her very Community focused crew have centered the Independent Creator as lead of their own networks and empowered us to build accordingly. 

LBI Digital’s main hub is currently housed on Mighty so that we can build effectively, efficiently and with a shared ethos of women lead businesses with Humanists like Gina B at the helm. I’ve chosen this path to build our Community of badass women thought leaders, fella industry disruptors and business activists instead of continuing to support the outdated methods led by web profiters who seem to intentionally build divisive and separatist soap boxes that quietly collect data, runs ads based on your movements and otherwise extracts personal information from its users via automations, zaps and other cool roboto types of mechanisms. You will  see less of me, Rose Kaz, and less LBI Digital on the aforementioned dinosaur channels of extractive tech. I’ll be busy building generative and helpful solutions to access the incredible web of information we humans generate. I will be aggregating that information as it pertains to women’s equity in the world so we can ALL progress better together AND actually feel good about ourselves!

Modern day …errr Dino day social media is like our Grandparent with dementia that can’t recall if you are his nurse, best friend Johnny or car wash attendant. With due respect for whatever he has accomplished in his heyday, he isn’t really contributing to the overall growth of modern society and adding value to current day culture. Dinosaur social media is on its own walk in the never ending, cul de sac of a doom scrolling park, basically nearly in an induced coma. You’re drunk social media, go home!

 

love, 

Rose 

More About Rose Kaz:

More About Rose Kaz:

Backstage Pass

Rose Kaz  is the Fem Founder and she’s done this a time or two. Her photo & video production company has taken her around the world but her new app allows her female clients & even women she hasn’t met yet to lean into each other, learn about our opportunity as business activists to support, grow & shop directly from one another. We are building a new economy, globally. WOW!

And the app we are talking about is that which Rose + the LBI Crew has launched where the ask for women is  to: ‘ take center stage in their lives;  to stand up, speak out & get GLOWING like never before’ Think activism meets B school meets super hip, online resource center! Sprinkle in some new school networking and POW The LBI Backstage Pass is #trending!

Click here to come Backstage, meet Rose and the entire community of femme forward leaders. 

Creative Community

Creative Community

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The importance of creative community, and especially the support and empowerment of women and femme-presenting people by other women, femme, and non-binary people, can’t be overstated.

It’s important.

And we know why. We know we have faced and continue to face immense challenges throughout history – from discrimination to lack of representation in the workplace, in media, and beyond. But by working together, we can create a more equitable and supportive environment in which we all can thrive.

We can support instead of compete.

Creative Community

One of the most effective ways to foster a supportive community is through the elevation of one another’s work. We should strive to recognize and celebrate the accomplishments of our peers, both in our existing communities and in wider circles.

We can do this in a variety of ways – public recognition, sharing resources, and providing support and guidance. Taking the time to recognize and appreciate the work of other women creates a sense of camaraderie and solidarity.
We need that in order to survive.

And thrive.

CreativeCommunity2

When women come together to support each other, we make a powerful and unique impact. Not only does it inspire confidence and create a sense of belonging, but it also leads to increased collaboration and innovation.

We end up creating more.

Creating better.

When we join together, women are able to pool our resources and ideas, leading to more effective solutions, expanded creativity, and joy.

We find joy together, joy in one another.

In addition to the tangible benefits of working together, building community among women fosters a sense of pride and connection that assists us energetically. It’s important that we have a space to come together and share their stories and experiences, as well as to learn from and inspire each other.

The importance of community and the power of women elevating the work of other women should never be undervalued. When we work together, we create a strong network of support, collaboration, and innovation that leads to positive change.

And true success.

More About Lori-Lyn

More About Lori-Lyn

Website | Instagram 

Lori-Lyn Hurley is a writer and artist who wants her work to nourish the wild parts of you and inspire you to live creatively and be your true self in the world.

Click here to come Backstage, meet Lori-Lyn and the entire community of femme forward leaders. 

Money. Sex. Politics PodcastMoney. Sex. Politics Podcast
Money With Olga Ten

Money With Olga Ten

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OUR GUEST ON MONEY

Olga Ten is our guest discussing MONEY.

After a career in corporate, she wanted to do something where she could have a direct positive impact on people she worked with.

Instead of becoming a freelancer herself, she decided to fix the problem. That’s how the idea to start Upmarqt came about. Upmarqt is a really amazing way for a business owner to get freelancers perfectly formatted for their company, values and goals.

You can find Olga on her website HERE, on Instagram HERE, and on LinkedIn HERE.

Money With Olga Ten

“In our minds, we are still used to the 9 to 5 work day. However, the world is changing. There is a global resignation and quiet quitting, meaning that more and more people are quitting their jobs to become freelancers. To do more of what they love, to have the flexibility a 9 to 5 might not offer, and be their own boss. That’s the ideal.” – Olga Ten

Welcome to LBI Backstage Pass Podcast where we talk all things Money, Sex & Politics as they pertain to women thought leaders, industry disruptors, and business activists.

In this episode, we are talking MONEY

And don’t worry, we promise to keep it very light and bright, f-bombs only delightfully placed 🙂 Seriously, it’s mostly comedy & errors with suggestions on how we can maybe, probably do better & asking leaders if they agree!

Your Host on Money.Sex.Politics Podcast

Join host Rose Kaz, serial boat burner, humanist & social entrepreneur as she digs into conversations with various female-forward visionaries who actualize their big visions into real-life actions. These leaders push forward to a world where women are equal to men, underrepresented skin tones find safety, and folks who identify as theys and thems are valued. 

In this episode we discuss:

Joining the Backstage Pass

Upmarqt

Automic Habits 

The Future of Work Podcast

Jasmin Star Show

Goal Digger Podcast

We know that a women lead world will be better for us ALL; particularly when we look at how the power inherent in Money, Sex & Politics are accessed.

Our talks here point to the shift we are building digitally to build a better world by doing social media differently. See what we are building behind the curtain and come Backstage!!

Contact us at SayHiLBI@gmail.com for inquiries and questions. We love to discuss Money, Sex, and Politics!

It is Safe to Create Together

It is Safe to Create Together

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I was just in the Ladyboss Lounge, reading the new member welcome chat.

At quick glance, I saw people from Texas, Missouri, Michigan, California.

I saw women who host podcasts, are professional ghost writers, aromatherapists, attorneys, wellness coaches, and business coaches.

I noticed that I could click the NEAR ME button and find members in my area. (I discovered a chakra healer an afternoon’s drive from where I live.)

As I sip my morning coffee and explore this virtual meeting room, I’m struck by how it feels.

The way things feel is very important to me. If a vibe is off, I have to leave.

The thing about the LBI Lounge is…the vibe is on.

It feels good.

It’s a safe space, and that’s something we all need.

Over the past few years, I have found myself craving a place where I belong, where I can be myself and share my life and my work in a supportive, affirming environment.

Maybe you’ve been craving that, too?

It is Safe to Create Together

Being a part of a safe community, where we can not only network, but also collaborate, is so important. I mean, it’s life-giving, isn’t it?

To have a place where we can support and inspire one another, especially for those working in fields that have been traditionally dominated by men, is vital.

Safe community space empowers us – as individuals and as a collective.

As a Creative, I find it incredibly important to be in communities where I can share my work without fear of judgement.

it is safe to create

The LBI Backstage Pass is an environment that’s inclusive and welcoming – and that benefits me as a creator. It provides a sense of comfort and support that feeds my creativity.

Whether you are just starting out in your business or creative endeavors, or you’ve been building a business for years, being a part of a supportive and encouraging community can provide with the guidance and the energy you need to grow and develop.

A safe community for women to share their work is essential for creating a more equitable industry.

It helps to foster a culture of acceptance and empowerment for women, non-binary, and femme presenting people. It’s a great way to develop connections and make valuable contacts that will ultimately ultimately help us thrive and be successful.

But this morning, as I’m meeting this new faces and names and reading about where people live and how they live, I’m noticing how important it is for us to simply know one another.

Hearing one another’s stories, talking about where we are from and what we love is a reminder that life is good. The world is, at its heart, good.

And we as individuals and a community…are good.

We want what’s best for ourselves, but we also want what’s best for one another.

It’s both a comfort and an inspiration.

I’d love to meet you in the Lounge.

If you’ve been thinking about joining us Backstage, now is the perfect time. (It’s free!)

I’m going to pour another cup of coffee, and I’ll meet you there!

More About Lori-Lyn

More About Lori-Lyn

Website | Instagram 

Lori-Lyn Hurley is a writer and artist who wants her work to nourish the wild parts of you and inspire you to live creatively and be your true self in the world.

Click here to come Backstage, meet Lori-Lyn and the entire community of femme forward leaders. 

Money. Sex. Politics PodcastMoney. Sex. Politics Podcast
The Ultimate Guide To Elevating Your Relationship

The Ultimate Guide To Elevating Your Relationship

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Relationships have changed more in the last 50 years than they have in the previous 5,000. We now have more freedom than ever to choose who we want to be and who we want to be within a relationship. But with this freedom comes the responsibility to understand how to create a solid foundation on which our relationship can thrive. In the past, relationships were more based on survival and need. Today, modern-day couples enter into a relationship for the psychological fulfillment of both individuals. 

The following is a guide to creating a happy and healthy long-term relationship.

Create A Common Vision

The first step to creating the relationship and life of your dreams is to have a clear vision. Having a life vision allows you to get more clarity about your future and what you truly want. To get from where you are to where you want to be, you must be specific. I am here to support you every step of the way.

The Ultimate Guide to Elevating Relationships

Create Your Vision Questionnaire

Strengthen your relationship by asking your partner the following questions:

1. Finances: How much money do you want to make annually? How will this money serve you? What are your values and expectations regarding money?

2. Home: What does your home look like? Where are you living? How does your home serve you? What are your values and expectations when it comes to your home?

3. Work: Where are you working, and what are you doing? Why does this occupation serve you? What are your values and expectations regarding your work?

4. Relationship: What does your relationship with your partner look like? How does this relationship serve you? What are your values and expectations regarding your relationship?

5. Children: What relationship do you have with your children? How does this relationship serve you? What are your values and expectations regarding your children?

6. Family: what type of relationship do you have with your family? How do these relationships serve you? What are your values and expectations when it comes to your family?

7. Health: What type of diet and exercise routine do you have? How does this healthy routine serve you? What are your values and expectations regarding your health?

8. Interests and Adventures: What are your interests, hobbies and adventure goals? How do these experiences serve you? What are your values and expectations regarding your interests and adventure?

9. Personal Life: How are you feeling within yourself? What type of person are you? What are your values and expectations when it comes to your personal lives?

Once you understand what you want your life to look like (goals) and begin to dig deeper as to why those things are important to you (values), you will start to create the foundation of your life and begin to take steps to thrive. 

Master Effective Communication

When two people come together in a relationship, they create three entities.

  • Partner One
  • Partner Two
  • The Couple

Understanding means being sympathetically aware of our partner’s feelings, tolerant and forgiving. To understand is to become familiar with them and to accept them the way they are.

We must understand our partners and listen to their needs and desires. We must gain insight into who our partner is and what they truly need from us. This understanding must come without judgement or expectations. We will learn how to truly listen by making an effort to hear them, being alert and ready to absorb and accept all information. (Acceptance does not equal agreement) To understand someone, you must learn how to communicate effectively.

The Ultimate Guide to Elevating Relationships 2

How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, their history, worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?

How to Have Effective Communication

Base your conversation on one topic at a time. Then go through the following steps:

The Speaker

1.  Speak clearly and directly while maintaining eye contact.
2. Give pauses so that your partner can comment.
3. Use “I statements”.

The Listener

1. Listen carefully to what your partner says, not what you think they mean.
2. Practice uninterrupted listening: Be aware that when we are in an argument, our attention span caps at ten seconds before we stop focusing on what the other person is saying and begin to think of our defensive statements.
3. Show you understand, regardless of whether or not you agree. Comment on what they said and validate their feelings.

Understanding Questionnaire

Strengthen your relationship by asking your partner the following questions:

What was the beginning of your relationship like, and what inspired you to make this commitment?

How are the two of you similar, and how are you different?

When do you feel most content in your relationship? When do you feel most unhappy or frustrated?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you respect your partner (1=not at all, 10=very highly)?

What is it about them that creates that level of respect in you?

What role have you played in contributing to the problems in your relationship?

Master The Power Couple Technique

Relationships without fighting are not only possible, but they are also necessary.

To navigate your relationship successfully, you must be able to go through conflict lovingly and respectfully, finding a solution that works for both partners time and time again.

ultimateguide

The 7 Steps to Success

1. Create a safe environment
Find the right time and place to have a conversation face-to-face with eye contact and respectful tones.

Example: When the kids are in bed on a Saturday night, you sit on the sofa with a glass of wine and soft music playing.

2. Each person states the issue in need of resolution. Do you agree?

Example: I tell my husband I am overwhelmed with the house chores. Working from home, taking care of a nine-month-old, cooking and cleaning are not leaving me time for self-care.

3. Each person states how they view the issue. 
Here we must practice understanding which is accepting our partner’s perspective as valid, even if we disagree.

4. Each person explains what outcome they desire. Do you agree?
Here we focus on what we want, not what we want our partner to do.

Example: I would like more time during the week to practice self-care.

5. Together, brainstorm ways to solve the problem. Make a list.
Be open and creative. Don’t worry about what is the only solution. 

Example: We could divide the cleaning by days. I can clean Monday, Wednesday and Friday while you clean Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. We could hire a cleaner. We could have a cleaning party on Saturdays where we all clean while dressed in funny costumes and listening to our favourite music. We could divide the cleaning by tasks, and we each pick which ones we prefer to do.

6. Pick one you would like to try first. Begin to solve the issue.
We often get caught up on what is the one solution to fix everything. Instead, we can feel calmer and more confident by choosing one solution we believe MAY work, putting it into practice and seeing how it goes.

7. Check in with each other to see if you have resolved the issue. If not, pick another possible solution. Repeat this process as often as needed until you find a solution that works for both of you.

Improve intimacy

Sexual intimacy and sex are two different things. Sexual intimacy is not simply a physical act but a pleasurable experience between two people in Love who express trust, vulnerability and appreciation for one another. It’s about physical and emotional intimacy and improved health for both partners, thanks to the excellent release of hormones due to physical touch. Sex is not only about penetration and orgasms. Physical intimacy has a range of expressions, all focusing first on the mind. When couples embrace, they have increased levels of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for lowering stress and making us feel less stressed. 

Learn About Your Body

Now’s the time to explore if you’re unsure what you like or how to reach orgasm. Take some alone time for yourself to discover what gives you pleasure. Then go back to the first tip and communicate that with your partner. If both partners know what makes them feel good individually, it will give you a higher chance of feeling good when you are together.

Identify Your Turn Ons

What can you or your partner do to get you in the mood? Women tend to enjoy sex more when we are warmed up. So it’s essential to identify what that looks like to you. Is it a back massage, a candle-lit dinner with lots of room for dessert and neck kisses, listening to relaxing music or having a warm bath? Explore various possible turns and see which one works for you.

Live A Healthy Lifestyle

Exercise releases endorphins and hormones and helps you become attuned to your body. Through the aging process, exercise can help increase desire, especially among women.

Become An Adventurous Person

People who are curious and open to new experiences report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. Be open to new ideas, and don’t be afraid to try new things with your partner.

Ultimate Guide to Elevate

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the ability to be present in the present moment. This means not being worried about the past or fearful of the future. When you are with your partner, mindfulness can slow down intimate moments together and allow you to guide the scenario in the way which it’s most pleasurable to you.

Create Physical Intimacy Outside of Sex

Having a high physical intimacy outside of sex often translates to a heightened level of sexual intimacy during sex. Physical intimacy can include kissing, holding hands, cuddling, caressing, spooning, eye contact and rubbing. The more physically connected you are during the day, you will feel closer to one another. 

Schedule it

I know how busy we are, ladies! It never ends with the kids, the partner, the job, the chores, the meetings, and the friends! But if you are currently sexually active in a sexual relationship, it’s essential to understand that it is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. The bond strengthened during sexual intimacy will spill out into all the other aspects of your life; it’s an investment! When you make Love to your partner and are feeling happy and energized, that is how the two of you will show up with one another in other aspects of your relationship and with others, including your children.

Intimacy Questionnaire

Strengthen your relationship by asking your partner the following questions:

Describe our sexual relationship. What do you find most satisfying about it? What don’t you like about it?

How has your sexual relationship changed since we were first together?

How well do you think our sex drives match up? How often would you like to have sex?

How important do you think sex is in our relationship?

Are there things you want to explore sexually that you haven’t told me about?

Cultivate Joy

Joy is a fulfilling and happy occurrence in successful relationships. It means to experience great pleasure or delight with your partner.

Learn to play

Play reduces stress, improves sleep, reduces aggression, fosters creativity and strengthens the bond in relationships. Play can be considered “other-directed”—the kind that genuinely draws others into silliness and good cheer. Another play is “intellectual,” where we enjoy wordplay and creatively solving problems. Play can also be “whimsical,” an amusement with life and a slightly oddball attitude.

Invest in quality time

The most comprehensive study on happiness conducted at Harvard University shows that people who invest in their relationships live longer and happier lives. Beyond social class, genetics, or cholesterol levels, the study found that positive relationships with others were the leading drivers of someone’s ability to combat health issues.

3 Keys to Quality Time

  • Schedule it: Pick days and times during the week that you can enjoy with one another. Start with less and add more as time goes on.
  • Set the Boundaries: Define what will be done when and set the rules for each activity.
  • Give a significant amount: giving all of your attention to your partner gives couples time to relax and open up their heart to each other. Effective communication allows individuals to be themselves, bringing the team closer together. Scheduling quality time ensures you do not miss any opportunity to be together. During this time, don’t waste time worrying about the family, work and kids. Just focus on the moment life has blessed you with. To spend time together, you’ll also need to plan activities to keep the passion between you two alive.

Joy Questionnaire 

Strengthen your relationship by asking your partner the following questions:

1. Describe your perfect morning
2. How do you relax after a long day? A long week?
3. What three activities are you dying to try with me?
4. What habits would you like to introduce into the relationship?
5. What does fun look like for you?

Follow @raileymolinario on Instagram for daily tips on how to create a thriving relationship that truly stands the test of time!

This post originally appeared on raileymolinario.com.

More About Railey

More About Railey

Website | Instagram 

Expert Love Educator & Relationship Coach Railey Molinario is empowering us to create lives we Love by teaching us relationship intelligence. She’s best known for her signature program, the Power Couple PhD, which teaches couples her scientifically backed formula for creating happy and healthy relationships.

Click here to come Backstage, meet Railey and the entire community of femme forward leaders.

Start with the End in Mind… Or Don’t

Start with the End in Mind… Or Don’t

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Article written by Rose Kaz

As a thought leader and a woman in business, I’ve always been curious to push the envelope on how we can use tech for more effective altruism.

Last year at this time I was teeing up the launch of this big idea I had during Covid closures in 2021 on how we could better connect women to the tools & resources we need to be effective and strong leaders. You know, like a boys club but instead for women leaders who want to see the world change. 

The Great Incubation

I now refer to this interesting time in history as The Great Incubation.  I have noticed so many interesting and thought changing business concepts emerging from that dark & somber pause for the planet, particularly women lead initiatives that offer a more collaborative way of organizing.  

We won’t get into who paused when and for how long but the larger point I’d like to call attention to is that we had a global time out  in our regular programming of human-ing  and we are now seeing our fella humans churning out solutions to the variety of large problems we’ve seen most highlighted in recent years: systemic meltdowns & failures that don’t fully support our basic human needs & right to advance to our highest potential. 

Over the course of the last two years we have seen more clearly how we need a full system upgrade regarding everything from our health systems  to our political processes, from the way we gain access to funds as marginalized groups to when or how we are expected to pay debts.

The systems are a changin, ya’ll.  

Begin with the end in mind or dont rose kaz

And that big message I keep hearing loud and clear from The Great Incubation is that  to solve these systemic problems which require systemic upgrades,  we need the thought leaders, industry disruptors and business activists to stand up and  lead the way, to elevate our systems but raising the bar of that which we accept as acceptable.

Activate Your Innovations

Now is the time to take these innovations we’ve dreamed up during that global pause & activate them as creative, business solutions accessible to all. And with this collective groundswell of female forward leadership, we will begin to see new systems built.  

The big idea I offer to support the major updates required for our species to evolve forward include elevating those from historically marginalized communities who have not previously been shown access to all the tools & resources each human deserves.

 

From Survival to Thriving

ELEVATING our experiences as women in business from mere survival to extreme thriving by using the superpowers of the world wide web  and re-visioning how we use social media and thereby the internet. 

The LBI BACKSTAGE PASS Crew  & I  are doing this by centering the lives, voices & access of black & brown women, our LGBTQAI family and any thought leaders, industry disruptors and business activists that seek to integrate a female forward leadership at higher levels using technology.  

Meet the LBI Backstage Pass.

Doing Social Media Better

This idea of building a better way of doing social media by first creating safe space online for female leaders to connect was born out of a deep desire to have a safe place for myself and other women interested in building new systems that care for our entire planet, not just a select few. 

And in this particular time of our growth, the process of keeping the idea elevated, the team in a good state of positive inertia and to continue to connect with more thought leaders, industry disruptors and business activists is not for the faint of heart. 

Start with the end in mind, they say.

But also keep iterating and resetting to the present moment at the same time bc …we’ll how else do we keep the mission going if not adjusting course as the course calls for it?  Is it possible to consider both the end and the current, at the same time?

After some thought, I don’t think either is mutually exclusive. If we truly look at starting with the end in mind, working backwards on a messy, possibly volatile  trajectory will automatically be riddled with opportunities to bob & weave, circle back and recalculate the flight path.

Afterall, being a woman in business within the current patriarchal order is clearly not the path of least resistance. But then again, being a person in any marginalized community isn’t easy either. 

This entire process of making progress feels a bit like rubbing the belly and patting the head. 

Start with the End in Mind Or Don't Rose Kaz

In fact, much of what I’ve noticed in getting a concept elevated  to activate a big idea feels counter intuitive! 

When considering  all the moving parts that need to be in a perfect, chaotic symphony do we still continue  with the end in mind?  Maybe its more like starting with the end in mind whilst simultaneously  keeping measure of  how far the end appears to continue to move away from the starting point!?

Maybe because as we elevate, we are gaining speed, traction towards that end goal?? But is this an optical illusion?? Or  maybe it’s the future of tech?? Is this how Web 3 works ??  🙂 

For example for an airplane to get off the ground, it needs support: the onboard crew, air traffic controllers and tarmac staff. The ticketing agents and even the silly social media trailers that get you to click on the ticket in the first place. Then, as if by magic, you are floating through the sky on like a million pounds of metal.

Collaborate to Elevate

Oh but wait, there is more working behind the scenes to keep this physics conundrum safely hurling at the speed of light to gracefully land in another city, sometimes even traveling back in time and into foreign lands.

So much collaboration on that elevation, ya’ll!! 

Now that we have taken this metaphorical flight with little to no delays, zero turbulence and no crying babies, let’s keep an eye on how this example pertains to building a tech concept whilst it’s flying and keeping the trajectory upwards, even if entropy is real! I’d love it if you followed along on our journey to elevate US together.

We are building a big fat vision of tech glory and we need you to help this plane soar.

If you haven’t already checked out the LBI Backstage Pass, I invite you to come Backstage and see what we are building. It’s not an optical illusion but you can bet your ladyboss dollar that we will be elevating to Web 3 soon!

More About Rose Kaz:

More About Rose Kaz:

Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn

Rose Kaz  is the Fem Founder and she’s done this a time or two. Her photo & video production company has taken her around the world but her new app allows her female clients & even women she hasn’t met yet to lean into each other, learn about our opportunity as business activists to support, grow & shop directly from one another. We are building a new economy, globally. WOW!

And the app we are talking about is that which Rose + the LBI Crew has launched where the ask for women is  to: ‘ take center stage in their lives;  to stand up, speak out & get GLOWING like never before’ Think activism meets B school meets super hip, online resource center! Sprinkle in some new school networking and POW The LBI Backstage Pass is #trending!

Click here to come Backstage, meet Rose and the entire community of femme forward leaders. 

The Client and Coach Relationship: How to Elevate your Experience

The Client and Coach Relationship: How to Elevate your Experience

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Article written by Kitty Kistler

The latest buzz word to, seemingly, have taken center stage is ELEVATE and it comes in many forms in the online coaching industry–from business growth to personal transformations.

But instead of telling you how to elevate your sales copy to increase revenue or leveling up on life so you can have the freedom to live as you desire, I want to show you the effectiveness of elevating the overall client experience.

Let me start by saying that I advocate hard for the integrity of the online coaching space because Coaches are so important, especially in today’s world. All of the upheaval and change in the past few years has really gotten people wanting (and needing) to do life differently.

And you’re just the person for the job.
But, you already know that.

You’ve probably been told your whole life that you’re emotionally mature, a great listener, super understanding, and your heart is bursting with love and compassion for others.

It’s only natural that after some time researching your options you fell in love with the idea of being a coach and helping others succeed at their goals.

Maybe you’ve had your own experience and a personal journey that’s led you to the call.
Maybe you’ve had professional training and are adding coaching as a resume enhancer or opportunity for you to branch out from the corporate career.

Whatever the reason or catalyst for choosing the path of helping others, you’re ready to help make dreams come true.

That said, you’ve got the soft skills, and you’re continuing to learn the hard skills, but to offer your clients what they need, want, and deserve, you’ll benefit most from learning to structure your time with them.

There are three simple things you can do to elevate your coaching and give your clients the experience they’re desperately seeking.


ASK POWERFUL QUESTIONS, but not hard ones.


The power of a good question resides not in its length or complication, but in its effectiveness to get your client talking. The more they talk, the more you’ll discover together–and suddenly…a lightbulb moment will rise out of uncertainty.

Here are some examples of questions that are small but mighty:

“How are you feeling right now? (followed by) tell me about that.”–this question and follow up explores emotions and allows expansion into a problem they are experiencing.

“Why do you think that’s so?”–this offers them a safe space and permission to be honest while also exploring their thoughts on a deeper level.

 

“And what else?”–the AWE question is the one that also requires pause for reflection, use this when the client believes they’ve told you everything, but you know there’s more information that hasn’t surfaced.

“What would letting go of that feel like?”–this question is great because it offers the opportunity for them to explore a new life scenario. Even if the answer comes from fear, doubt, or worry, it opens space for deeper exploration.

“What’s your next move?”–this question is action oriented and allows the current breakthrough a chance to be acted upon immediately and in the future. This is important because this is where change truly begins.


USE MORE SILENCE, but with purpose.


Silence can be intimidating whether you’re the coach or the client making it one of the biggest challenges to overcome in a session because you’re conditioned to fill gaps and lulls in conversations. But when you introduce purposeful silence into the situation you allow your client to fill the space with the words and emotions they need to bring to the table.

Practice getting uncomfortable for the sake of transformation. Here is an example of how silence can be incorporated in a healthy way:

When using a question such as “And what else?” follow it with your silence and wait for their response. Maintaining eye contact by looking at them expectantly and leaning in toward them indicates a safe and understanding space for them to let go and say what’s on their mind. Allow 5 or 10 seconds to go by so that your client can contemplate their answer.

Rest assured that they will fill this space.


BE FULLY PRESENT, even when you aren’t together.

 

In the age of online coaching it’s not often coaches and clients meet face to face without a screen in between, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps to tune out all the external noise and be fully present for your client during your time together.

Doing so will allow you to know which question you want to ask next, when to be purposefully silent, and when there’s more they want to discuss but aren’t saying. Here are a few ways to prepare for your time together and maintain a healthy presence during the call:

Avoid back to back coaching sessions–it’s easy to feel exhausted after a session, be sure to maintain space between calls to get a drink, move around, recenter your focus, journal thoughts from the call, or meditate.


Become more mindful–be aware of what distracts and steals your attention and remove those things before the call. Take care of necessary business before or after your session times and turn off notifications so you’re fully available for the client.

Draw yourself back in–often your mind can wander, when this happens, catch yourself and draw your attention back in by leaning in more and making eye contact. It’s also important when the client is going on a rant that isn’t productive, that you stop them and guide them back with some simple questions. Allowing an unnecessary rant wastes time and causes lack of focus for everyone.

Being present helps you to move into active listening, one of the most important skills to have as a coach, because it allows you to listen for your client as they open their heart and mind and allow their thoughts and emotions to flow freely.

In a time of buzzwords, promises of massive wealth and transformation in 30 days, and ‘the best kept secret in the industry’, the real key to elevating the coach-to-client experience is to keep it simple and bring it back to the client.

Your client will reach their best results when you ask yourself what they need and how you can provide a safe space for them to receive it.

 

 

Find Kitty here:

Find Kitty here:

Facebook // www.facebook.com/groups/howtolifecoach

Instagram // @ kitty_kistler

LinkedIn // @ kittykistler

Kitty Kistler is an experienced Life Coach + Business Mentor.

Driven by a desire to see integrity within the coaching community she created Ready, Set, Coach Academy to teach aspiring coaches, course creators, influencers, and social marketers how to coach professionally and build sustainable heart + values centered businesses. Her goal is to expand and diversify the industry while helping more coaches become successful, profitable business owners as well.

Positively Influence Your Business By Being Your True-Self

Positively Influence Your Business By Being Your True-Self

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Article written by Maayan & Gal from Smoozitive

If there’s a life changing lesson we’ve learned in the last decade as business owners, it’s this:
Our business works best, when we’re true to ourselves.

We each developed and owned a few businesses, some of which we ran independently and others together; and to be completely honest (as it’s a part of our values), while some of those were funky flops, others were considered extremely successful.

True, there are many common factors involved in a business’s success; however, we believe that one of the most influential factors is who we are, what we bring to the business, and how we approach it.

For instance, as co-founders and two sisters, we each bring our individual personalities, emotions, values, and even coffee preferences to the table, which impacts in different ways the business that we run together.

If one of us is having a bad day, not to mention a lousy month, it directly affects our thoughts, actions & words, therefore our workflow. The way we show up on social media, our productivity, the results we get and the future we envision for the business, are all affected by who we are at this time being. Even if we succeed in covering it up—say, in front of clients—and minimizing the damage, it won’t go unnoticed. It works like magic the other way around too. If we’re having a great week, it will positively influence the business.

Let’s take a closer look at what makes us who we are…

When was the last time you stopped to evaluate or think about your values?

Don’t feel bad if you didn’t; most people don’t know how to make actual ‘stops’ during their day-to-day to evaluate their situation or think about their values. However, knowing our values is essential since they are what motivates our actions and makes us choose one path over another.

Simply said, core values are the standards we choose to live by. To put it another way, they are our personal guidelines. When we live by them, our life feels smoother, simpler and harmonious. Whereas when our actions, thoughts or even words are not following those guidelines – we tend to feel ‘off’, frustrated, uninspired and drained. This is true for our personal lives, and for businesses.

The idea that there is a one-size-fits-all approach to conducting business exists, but since everyone of us is unique, how can we all conduct business in the same way?

Just like many other entrepreneurs, we listened to many business experts, and opinionated coaches who told us what to do in order to achieve our goals. We also looked up at other businesses, without necessarily knowing what they’ve done and went through to get to this point where they inspired us. We tried doing what they do, using similar words, techniques and approaches, in the hopes that this would help us achieve their level of success. Unsurprisingly, it did not work. We’re not in the same industry, or at the same stage of business. Most importantly, we are not the same people, so we do not necessarily share the same values and beliefs.

No wonder that when we tried to manage and develop our business by following other people’s values, not only did it underperform, but it also made us doubt ourselves, our capabilities, and our business altogether. We weren’t living up to our core values and beliefs. We weren’t our true selves, and that had to change.

Then we figured it out!

When something isn’t working, the secret is to stop looking for solutions outside of yourself and instead get in touch with your core values.

Learning from others, being inspired, and adopting tools, abilities, and strategies that others have perfected is fantastic – as long as they match your authentic self. By doing so, you can be sure that your work will make you feel good, be more productive, and it will inspire you to keep going.

Here’s a couple of things you can reflect on:


The definition of success is your own.

You don’t have to aspire for a 7-figures business because others do. Perhaps your success is a healthy work-life balance, the freedom to exercise every morning, the ability to travel the world, or just working in something you love and waking up eager to start each day. Your personal notion of success has a direct bearing on how your business performs.

Each person has a different ‘true-self’.

Being your true self is also about respecting others for being their true selves, whether they are your client, supplier, boss or employee. Sometimes you’ll fit perfectly, and other times you’ll have to make some adjustments to get along. And, on occasion, you must let things go out of respect.

It’s not about competition.

A business is a personal journey; there is no need to waste energy comparing yourself to others. Furthermore, when you are true to yourself, you can never have competitors because you and your values are unique. You can be inspired, collaborate, and learn from others – there is a place for everyone, even in the same field.

Last but not least, our experience has shown us that we are more productive, confident, and capable of achieving the best outcomes for both our organization and ourselves when our values and beliefs are in line with our actions, thoughts, and words.

Take this moment, to stop and evaluate your core values and consider how you might align your activities with them in order to successfully run your own business.

Find Maayan & Gal here:

Find Maayan & Gal here:

Website | Podcast | Instagram

Bio:

Maayan & Gal are sisters, the founders of Smoozitive. They are guiding and supporting women living abroad using positive psychology and mindset coaching, to be their best selves no matter where they are.

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